Keep on, keeping on.

          I think I am having a period of the winter blues. Everyday, it is a struggle to get through the things I am supposed to do. Oh, it's not a biggie, it's not depression, or anything serious, no it's just harder than usual. All the little hundreds and one jobs I normally do without more than being 'careful,' I say careful,a s in taking it slowly sometimes,  because I can get dizzy without warning, too top-ply. Bringing with it, the danger of falls, and running into inanimate objects. I certainly see the resulting bruises from those. As well, the bigger tasks, like my writing, and exercising, become a mountain to climb. The thing is, I know I need to do them, so am reluctant to let them slide. To exercise regularly is important, it helps me balance, it helps me maintain my fitness levels. Then, I need to write a daily blog, two of them sometimes, if I am to maintain what I begun.w rioting is something I waited to start until I had time...in my case coming down with....whatever M.E. Is caused by. If you have not got good health, you have not got anything. I worry a lot about getting so behind, that it will overwhelm me. I worry about feeling exhausted, annoyed for falling asleep when I sit down, all tied up to my health, and the grey miserable days of an English winter. Short days where it barely gets light, there are two, or three hours in the middle of the day when the greyness is a little brighter, but not proper daylight, not really. I hate being unfit, feeling less than 100%, and I do so want to keep up with everything. 

       I know, I have said it here so many times. Be positive, be pro-active, and create your own reality. Telling myself as much  as anyone, understanding it's the only way to get ahead. Now I say solely to me, 'just do it!...be positive, wipe out the negative thoughts, and  feelings crowding you'. Well, you know, I never said it was easy did I. If only someone else could help, or better yet, do it for me. No, I jest, although, maybe not entirely. I also know that's not going to happen though, is it?  

        Domestic chores are a bore at the best of times. There are so many more interesting things, I can find to do instead. Right now though, I have to beat myself into doing the boring jobs, the repetitive jobs. This includes putting energy into my future, energy I don't have right now. Oh joy, I think, somewhat annoyed, and also, how pathetic of me. Am I man or mouse? If I make excuses for my shortcomings! I can say that my M.E. is raging, as it does often. When it does, my glands swell, particularly those in the bend of my elbow, making every task a little painful, even typing. My muscles ache, particularly my neck, shoulders, and upper arms. I really feel as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, physically, as well as any other way. On top of that, when the Exhaustion Syndrome (capital letter) flares, my energy levels plummet. Something I don't even realise is happening sometimes, until every small thing in my day, starts taking on gigantic proportions.

        'Come on', I chivvy myself, 'come onnnnnn'. It's a trick which sometimes works, and sometimes only results in frustration. That's why, if I am not careful with my mood, with my attitude, I end up like this. With a case of the winter blues. Those are the days I could stay in bed, sometimes, they are the days I 'should' stay in bed. Yet, I try to keep on as normal. I may venture out a little later, I may miss some excercise, but I do try to maintain a semblance of my routine.

          It's what you must do, no matter the odds, no matter the obstacles, no matter anything else.

Just keep on, keeping on. Don't let anything stop you. Don't let anything  cause you to abandon your ideals, or principles, or even your daily goals. The only people who truly fail, are those that give up before the race is run.....or before it is finished. Pretend there is no finish, one horizon reached, leads smoothly to the next.

           I know life gets difficult, I know it is often hard, and dispiriting. I know there are days you would rather just sink through the mattress, and never show your face to the world. All I can say is.....give it heaps.

          Remember, KEEP ON, KEEPING ON.

            You will be pleased you did.