We do many things on 'automatic pilot', where we just do it, without paying real attention. Without thinking about our actions. You know, making the bed, walking around the supermarket, making a phone call, frighteningly, even driving the car. We have habits, things we have done so often before, that paying close attention, is not necessary. Our reactions to the situations, or people, around us, works exactly the same. We become engrossed in the same things, time, after time. Or, annoyed by the same things, the behaviour of others, or whatever it is, happening in our life. So, it's all too easy to react without thinking, in the way we always did.
This is the exactly what I did, when confronted this week, with something happening close to me. It was a situation, in which I have tried so hard, to do the right thing. Something, that your busy brain, even your intelligence tells you is a waste of time. Although knowing how sending a difficult situation, or person love, can be...will be, eventually.... positive. It has to be, that's the way energy works. I have encouraged, and explained, and supported, throughout the last couple of years. In recent months, though, it has become more, and more difficult for me. I have things going on in my own life (as we all do). Although I meant to continue doing my best, understanding what was behind the present behaviour. I knew they needed support, that they were in no position to cope as I hoped. Then, it happened again, and I just reacted. Whether I was at the end of my tether, or whether I really just unthinkingly reacted, I don't know. Except, I gave up, stepped back, said, 'that's it!'
Luckily, I did not say so to the person concerned, I just physically, and emotionally turned my back. In danger of undoing all the good my support has done over that time. Of leaving them to their despair, and their apparent inability in thinking straight. Deep in the midst of making a mess of their life. I know you cannot make people do things. I know you have to allow them to live their own lives. Only, it's like I said yesterday, sometimes we become lost. We lose ourselves, somewhere in the process of big changes in our lives. During the death of someone, or the ending of a relationship. So unsure can we be, of who we are without that person, we flounder, and make mistakes. We lose our way. It just illustrates how far lost you can become, without realising.
Now, despite me finding it really difficult to continue in a supporting role. I must not give up on them. I must be a stable element in their lives. Try to understand, that although they don't want my advice, or help right now. They will do soon, or, might do soon. When they reach the point where they recognise how lost they are, which I can only wish for. I can only hope that point is reached before they go too far down the wrong path. My walking away, stepping out of their life will help no one. Not even me, as I don't want to see them/her/him break altogether. I too, will have to live with what happens in their life. If I know I have done less than my best, how can I then, live with myself.
Despite this, I did give up. I decided to back out of the whole situation, and leave the persons/persons to get on with it. To fall where their own bad decisions, and the fates, let them fall. 'Washing my hands,' used to be the term used. My dear friend, reminded me of some of the difficulties they were, or could be experiencing. A clear case of the pupil, teaching the teacher, I am happy to say. I am ashamed to say, I had forgotten. Perhaps, only for the time of that one short decision, but I had not connected the dots. My mind had flipped me back to the old way of doing things. Of using only rational thought, of conserving my energy, for my own health, (which is not good.) You see, even now, I make excuses. It's what we do, it's how we calm our conscience. We make excuses for our poor behaviour. The fact is, it's never good enough to turn our backs.
Now, though, reminded, I will continue. In fact I will continue with a new burst of energy. I will make a special effort to let the person/persons know how I care for them, and have faith in them. The whole thing, will help them, far more than avoiding, and ignoring them ever will.
I tell this story, to remind you to be vigilant. To watch out for those kind of mind flips. It's necessary then, to keep a close eye on yourself. For if you don't, then who will?
Keep sending that love, keep believing in those who no longer believe in themselves. As you, one day, might need someone else to watch out for, and believe in you, to send you unconditional love. Remember, what goes around, comes around.
The strength, and the perseverance is there for you, only....
Never give up!
FOOTNOTE TO THIS.
I did refocus, on this situation, on this person. It really does help, so be strong, and be there for your loved ones. Already, so short a time since, new, fantastic developments are underway. The person is on the up, and up. I am so happy. They bottomed out, (you never know quite when that is, until after)
The really important thing is, they are so happy, & excited, because they have hope again. Because their life is looking good again.
It's easy to be there for people when things are going well, and you can share in their happiness, it's more difficult when they are lost, and their light is hidden. Yet that is the time they need you.
So never give up, never, ever give up. With love, even just sending it froma distance, with a Few words of encouragement, can help them turn the corner.
Yippee for love
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