What next? I ask myself...

          For years I worked as a psychic, and apparently, according to my clients, gave good guidance. Doing readings, was for me a little like finding the end of a ball of wool. There is the person, tied up tightly, just like a tightly wound ball of wool, no ends showing, as they sat waiting, before me. My first words always were, " please don't tell me anything about yourself", because it only confuses the issue. I needed a clean sheet before me, with nothing to mislead me, if I was to get any answers at all. As I was a hand reader too, I liked to feel, to hold, the hands, to get a feel of who they were, if you like. I never read a book on palmistry to aid me, again, no complications. Again, what I got had to be what I could trust, what I had learned to trust when tuned to the Alpha. Not what someone else thought the lines meant, that was for them, not me. It was the same with psychic information that came through. As an artist, it was shapes, and colours I saw. I didn't hear the words first, and I didn't see complete scenarios, only simple shapes, and colours, from these, I could make a start. The start was everything, it was discovering the loose end of the wool.

         I could find a relevant shape anywhere. From the pattern on a piece of clothing, to a shadow on the wall. Something in the shape, caught my interest, and if I stared at it for a few seconds, a nugget of information came through. As I spoke, it was as if I were pulling more, and more information into my awareness, pulling a longer length from the ball. Sometimes, the person before me, could be so 'anti' being tricked, or uncertain about the whole process, they were shut....as tight as a drum. Not that I blamed them, where money is involved, there will always be charlatans to take it from people. Many have remembered the unscrupulous. This sometimes made it more difficult for me, but not impossible. It just took me longer to find the 'end' of the wool, so to speak. I talk of the end of the wool, because once I found that, the rest of the information would unwind before me, as I pulled it in towards me. Occasionally, someone would be so determined not to give me any feedback, they would deny what I knew with absolute certainty to be the truth. At those times, I had to stick to my guns, and continue, I knew sooner, or later, they would say it was right, and vindicate the information I gave them, or not, 

but I would know. With most readings, it was far easier, accepting my words, recognising of what I spoke. A yes, even a no, helped make the knowledge flow. The words weren't mine, after all. I was only tuning in to what was around them, or before them. Being a psychic, I likened to watching a boat on a winding river, the analogy is, the person is the boat. I was flying above, able to see around the corners, or to the sides, or along the tributaries. 

          Right now, and the reason I am thinking of the past this morning, is because I wish I could do the same for myself. Of course, even back then, information for myself did not flow. I often had strong feelings about things, or would get a sudden bit of knowledge. I just never saw my choices laid on as clearly as I saw theirs. I say choices, because I always knew that very little was set in stone...FATED. We make choices every day of our lives. About attitude, or action, or more importantly for most...emotion. 'Fate' does not sweep you away willy nilly whilst you are powerless, there are oars in your boat, even an engine. You can only be swept along if you give away your power. By doing everything a partner, or friend says to do, instead of thinking for yourself. Or, by being out of it, by taking drugs, drink, or by failing to act when you should. Saying, 'can't be bothered', 'don't care', generally giving up in one way, or another.

          I have so many important decisions coming up this year. Although it's not immediate, I know this first couple of months is a waiting period. An example of information coming my way.  One, where I must contain my impatience to get on with changes, and.....wait. Something I am not good at. As often with many people, it is finances partially holding me back. As it seems to be with many people in this ongoing world recession. It's not easy to change anything without money. Everything you do, takes something, some financial input. Especially changes of the type I want. One is to move, not just to the next village, or the next county, but overseas again.

          It's not that I hate the UK. The countryside is gorgeous, the history fascinating, I understand the psyche of the people, as I am one of them. I can even cope with the weather, when it stays as mild as this winter has, so far. It's just to live well in England, you need lots of money. Ok well, you do if you want any sort of cultural life, or even a comfortable life. The cold weather is a case in point. Once your income is restricted, as it is when you cannot work full time anymore, you can't keep up with heating expenses, good food, petrol, or travel in general. Suddenly, you have the time, but not the money.

          The power bills, for me, and millions of other people in this country are getting out of control. Many, simply cannot afford to keep warm. Perhaps we expect too much today, turn on the heating when it's cold. Except for many, we are now having to regress, to as it was in the time of our grandparents, or great grandparents. We must leave the heating off, and wrap up with extra clothes, inside the house. We utilise, blankets to wrap up in, during the evening. If the heating is on, it is very low, and it's not on for long. The government advisors, as far out of touch as always, say it's not good for you to be cold, it raises your blood pressure, so people...keep your houses heated. They even give pensioners 200 pounds for winter fuel. What country do they live in, to think that such a small amount, does any good at all. Why heating runs into the thousands. Mine was one thousand pounds for less than three months, and that was only on part time, not on high either. You see what I mean, it's out of control.

         As for entertainment, where are you supposed to find the money to pay for tickets to go anywhere. If you go with a family, even to the pantomime, it costs a few hundred pounds, even if you are cautious. Staying at home, watching TV is fine, because once the licence is paid, you can use it as much as you like. It's no wonder everyone does too much of it. They don't have that much choice, do they. Conversation is fine, so is reading, or computor. Board games are not played any more. Instead, an Internet connection is a must. Except trying to type with freezing fingers is not the easiest thing in the world. My nose is constantly cold, its not good for anyone to live like this. In this country, there are the forgotten people. It is not comfortable, and who could possibly enjoy it? The sun is gone for a long time, as the winters here are long. You can see, however you look at it, there is time to fill, most of it dark, and cold. Especially if you can't afford to go off on a winter holiday to the sun, as some do. Most of us simply cannot.

           As for new clothes, well...what are they? I am even tired of looking at sales, or retro clothing shops. Its about all most of us do, we look. It's not what I would prefer to buy anyway. I know from others, I am not alone in this. A night out, a special meal, either out, or by buying food in, as in something special, is now no longer affordable either. The truth is, in England, we have been on restricted finances for too long. We have managed, and managed, and scraped, and now we have no more resources, call them, savings if you will...although many had none of those, and borrowed, so now are in a much worse place. It is a loan sharks paradise. The population, has nothing to fall back on, no more resources. Believe me, for someone who has always had savings, or who, are perhaps being pressed by creditors, it is a scary prospect. People are feeling the pinch, and it's leaving some nasty bruises.

           Yet still the politicians are posturing, ignorant of the real truth with the people. Imposing sanctions, making further welfare cuts in every area they can think of. All they worry about is looking good to win votes in the next election. On top of that, I have seen the writing on the wall. Call it another sudden premonition from my day at the doctors last week. The time is just about here when the government is cutting back more than ever before. Pension have already been affected, as has the age one can begin them. Plans are afoot for rescinding family allowance, paid for children. Free travel, and no doubt cut payments planned accross the board, for all sorts, is in the wings. Now, I believe they continue with their usual underhand cuts by instructing doctors, and hospitals of a raft of new restrictions. In many cases, we won't even be informed of them. I feel, that without doubt, the word has gone out for the aged, the smokers, the drinkers, and the overweight are to be forthwith denied the medical attention, and treatments, which should be our right.

            I have already seen one such report in the newspapers.'no more treatment for cancer of over 75' it said. This is the 'thin end of the wedge,' believe me. The sanctions, and ineligibly for treatments will go much further. This many tiered, class ridden society, is becoming far worse. Already we have the underclass of the unemployed. Now we are to have another underclass. It will be of all of us, who do not fit some government ideal as far as age, weight, habits, or diet is concerned. 

            I must find, some way of escaping such a restrictive, and uncaring society. Many other individuals  are trying to do so in their own way. Me, well I must do something drastic. As to exactly what, or how, I will have to wait, until I see the options open to me. Both those that come to me, and those I make.

            I will be visualising, and seeing positive pictures of my future. I will be thinking of maybe discoving some sense, or empathy from politicians. Some compassion for their people, hoping for them to display some real care. Instead of playing to the gallery, or merely feathering their own nests, as most seem to do.

            I shall ask my higher self, to help me recognise the right opportunies when they come. I trust, and believe I will. So, you can see, why I would like to be aloft right now, viewing my own path down the rivet of life. Showing me my options, and some of the dangers.

             Never mind, I visualise, that before long, I will see the best opportunity to make a life that is valued, instead of discarded, as too many of us are being at present. If there is one thing I learnt from my years of life, and reading for other people, it is that your circumstances can change dramatically. We, who are without wealth, and power right now, may not always be so. As we, who are judged as 'less than', may not always be so. This government, and any government that follows it, would do well to remember that. 

            The people have long memories, and they are not fools!