Power bills, and other rip offs

      Isn't it a constant problem, this expense we have now with power bills. Especially, I discover, with electricity. The majority of households in the UK have combined electricity, and gas for heating, general power, cooking etc. If you are unlucky enough to have an all electric house, forget it. I should know. For the past year, and a bit I have had to struggle with trying to pay, in particular! the heating bill.

       The first, barely two months, cost me the best part of £700. That I hasten to add, was with having the heating on only part of the time, and not overnight either. Natu really, it continued on from there, much the same. How on earth can that be right. Of course, the power company insisted all was well, no sign of any anomalies in the system. How could I argue with the numbers? There it was, in black, and white. The power is turned on, the wheels spin, the dials clock the usage, and bobs your uncle, thats £700 up your shirt! Or in this case, demanded from your bank account forthwith. Or, what happens next, demanding letters, then threatening letters, county court, judgements against you, bigger bill, loss of credit rating, and staring into the financial abyss opening at your feet.

           Of course, I couldn't let all of that happen, so for over a year, I have lived in a chilly, mainly uncomfortable house. My only worry, to ensure the gage on the thermostat is turned right down, and the system off,a s often a s possible.Worrying about how big the next bill would be, and how I could cut down usage even further somehow. I would have moved, got out of there, except everything conspired against me. So, here. I still am. Struggling through another winter.

           Of course if you talk to the power company, they are really very helpful. If you explain how you are sitting in the cold, or in my case, escaping from home as often as possible, to save money. Anything to keep the bills down. Very concerned, they always say,' oh no, don't stay in the cold. It's so bad for you.' Mmmm, interesting, how do I do that then, can I have it free? Or, maybe cheap, that would be really helpful. But, of course.....no. It's just empty platitudes. I guess they don't want bad publicity, and someone at the top, has handed out instructions on how to talk to the financially afflicted.

           How many people are there out there like me? People who can't afford to keep warm. Millions I am sure, and perhaps more, who are even worse off.  They are too old, or infirm to escape the house to  save on power, as I choose to do. They are stuck there, having to endure. No doubt looking more like bundles of clothes, and normal people. If you can't afford to turn on the heating as much as you need, then you must wear extra clothes. Drape yourself with garments, and wish for Summer. All of this, while the power companies rake in bigger, and bigger profits. Where is the government, where is legislation, where is the protection from these fuel robbers. We deserve better. Who is going to protect the common man, not the politicians I presume.

            A few tips,  The recommended temperature inside your home for good health, is between  18 /22. It's not good to heat below 16. If you cannot afford to heat the whole house, heat the living room when you are in there, and the bedroom at night, or at least before you go to bed. Use an electric blamket, quite economical to run, or  wheat pack. No fear of water, either hot, or cold, leaking. Wear more thin layers of clothing, far better than one thick one. Keep moving, if you can't move your whole body, move you hands, and feet. If you can't go and excercise, do thing in the house.  Like chair excercises. Have lots of hot drinks, at regular intervals. Have at least one good hot meal a day. Eat more carbs for creating body heat. If necessary use draught excluders, keep windows shut, and curtain too if you need to. Getting too cold is dangerous for your health, causing strokes, and heart attacks more readily.

            Remember how we used to keep warm... In the dark ages ha ha, before central heating. It can still be done, it just isn't as safe perhaps. So take no risks with dodgy heating units. Use a blanket when you sit down, or wear a shawl, or a dressing gown. Be safe, be warm. Keep those temperatures up, at least in the room you are in.

            Like always, if the government won't, or can't help you, you must help yourself. Keep up the visual programming for better times, and warmer days. In the meantime, do all of the sensible things, and look after yourself out there.

          

ali keilly writes: The hidden world of the older gym bunnies

ali keilly writes: The hidden world of the older gym bunnies:          Further to my vow to spread beauty, I offer this photo of the entrance to an English woodland.                        Even though i...

Getting it on...English style

The hidden world of the older gym bunnies

         Further to my vow to spread beauty, I offer this photo of the entrance to an English woodland.

                       Even though it has nothing to do with what follows, or not yet, at least. Enjoy.
                                                     It reminds me of Epping Forrest 

         I suppose the words older, and gym bunny, is rather a contradiction in terms, as gym bunny implies to most, someone young, full of energy, and nubile. Well, nubile they may not be, young, they may not be, but regulars to the gym they definitely are. I know, I see them there all the time. Perhaps because I am no longer working the nine to five working day, I use the gym during the day, in the mornings mostly. Which, means of course that I get to see mostly the older generation at play. Or, should that be at work, keeping mobile, getting fitter, if that what it is. For isn't that what we are all doing there. We are attempting not just to keep fit, but to improve our fitness level. Or, at least, I am. Its use it, or lose it isn't it.

         Oh, like many people, not naturally athletic, or a fitness fanatic, it's often difficult to motivate myself to get there on a regular basis. Sometimes, I have to beat myself out of the door, into the car for the trip. Once there, I am happy I did, of course. Then, after the session, feeling hyped up, and rather virtuous, I am extremely pleased. I have not been doing this routine for that long. Only about six, to nine months. For some of that time, I was out of England, so it was often difficult to keep to a regular routine. Since returning home though, I have managed somewhat better. Aiming for three days a week, normally making it twice. Being less than 100% fit, I don't always have the energy. (How about that for an excuse... brill hey?)

         It is only now, I feel I am able to have some feel for the place. The leisure centre is new, only built during the last year. As often with planned community projects, it's not big enough. Those government institutions always underestimate  what is needed. I notice it with roading, with leisure, like this, and many other community projects. Perhaps they are afraid of building an expensive white elephant, then getting slated for it by the very public they are building for. Like the M 25 they are outgrown almost before they are completed. It is particularly noticeable with this project. The queues are too long, the pool is full, because it's too small, there are not enough private showers, parking spaces, or anything else. The changing cubicles are too small, and too puddled. In fact all the classes are overfull, making it difficult to get into any of them. Unless you turn up at least half an hour early, or make bookings well in advance. That of course, is only if they allow you to do so, all classes don't. But I love it all, there is something about NEW builds.

         Of course, being from the UK, I enjoy having a good moan about all the shortcomings. We are renowned for complaining, it's a national pastime. We mean no harm, it does not really depress us, it's just what we do. Despite that, it's amazingly popular. As I said, its full to the rafters everyday day. Mostly with the older generation...who knew there were so many of them wanting to keep fit, or get fit! Yet they do, they swim, they excercise, they have gym memberships, and use them. Ha! Strange isn't it. Something to do with not liking to waste money maybe. As, if you are like me, regular attendance is the last thing you do, when you have membership in a gym. How many times have you joined up, and then never gone again, or gone sporadically. I know I have done just that, many times.

           As I am a writer, I am also a people watcher. There is little I miss on the trips to the gym. I notice ages, energy levels, commitment, gear, and anything else that catches my attention. I notice that despite being older, a lot of the women look pretty good in their swim suits. It doesn't seem to matter if some are heavier on the bottom half, or have a well rounded middle. So perhaps it an energy level vibe, making them still attractive. The men, mmm, not so much. They tend to be older, more infirm, or fatter. As if they have only come at the last minute, when they can't delay it any longer. Well, perhaps that is exactly what they have done. Anyway, I haven't seen one yet, I would be happy to walk out with. Not that I am in the market for one. It's only curiosity you understand.

            Some people swim in neat lines, up and down the same channel. Others go up one side, and down the other, other swimmers permitting. Often it's a mathamatical equasion deciding where best you can swim a length without having to change direction rapidly. There are fast lanes, medium lanes, and slow/play lanes. All overcrowded, all becoming mixed up, as people try to find enough space to swim a few lengths without a family diving, or jumping too close. Never the less, we all manage to do our lengths, or excercises somehow.

            For some time. I have wanted to up my excercise level. I cannot manage a longer swim, I get too tired. I am not fit enough to take to the gym, to do general bouncing around with the truly fit. It's impossible, because of joint problems. Now, today, I I finally found a class. I can do. It's called 'Body Toning', well aren't  they all called body something? Body Pump, Body stretch, Body training etc. This one though involves climbing on a series of machines that do it for you. Yippee I thought, forty minutes of lying on a table, or sitting in a chair...easy! They are a bit spooky though, in shiny leather, looking a little like Old fashioned torture instruments. There are leg shapes, and high grips, and long stretches, and bits of the bed that pump up and down. I tell you, I got some bits nipped when I I didn't get the positioning right. Keeps you alert all right. Except, it was harder than it looked, and by the time I was halfway around, I was falling asleep half way through the minute, and a half timer for each one. With someone waiting to climb on your machine, as you climb off, you have to get moving, and keep moving. They were not designed for somnambulist. By the time I was round the lot,  I felt as if I had been rudely awaken several times, I was quite zombie like, thick headed, and woozy.

               Regardless, I have booked a weeks worth, with one session every other day, just to see how the 'body,' and the 'will' manage it. I'm hoping I can keep going physically, and also get there on the day booked. Tonight despite me thinking the movements were easy, my arms, hips, and lower back are protesting. 

                Swimming tomorrow, that's if I I can make it out of bed...in time.

                Wish me, and all the other older gym bunnies, lots of luck,

                I have a feeling, I may need it by the end of the week.

Beauty is everywhere

          There is a woman on my Facebook page, called Alicia Ruth Gonzales Moya who constantly posts the most incredible photographs. Sometimes,a child, or a pet, sometimes a landscape, but more often it's a glimpse of something in cameo. Part of a flower, a window, with faded paint, a bush full of bright birds. They are not always her photos, she finds them, and posts any that touch her I suppose. I only know they touch me too. They fill me with joy, they make me happy to be here on such a Beautiful Earth. Resplendent in rich colour, and form, washed in glowing light. So wondrous they open my heart to the joy in the world. I thank that woman, profusely. She makes my day, without even knowing it.

            Of course, I take photographs myself, and consider myself an artist. So, I appreciate the Artistic expression, the composition. I can appreciate the finer technical points. Except it's not just that, it's the unexpected jolt of pleasure when they appear on the page, totally unlooked for. It's just like finding a present, just the present I have always wanted. I have a dear friend too, also artistic, who takes some wonderful photographs. Photos of strange lands, and interesting people. Only, both of us, mostly kept them to ourselves. We don't seek out the beautiful, and the  Vibrant to post online, we do not share as we should,  life is busy, life is hectic. You see, how many of us make the same excuses?

          There on many people who use the net for spreading sorrow. For venting their rage, and their frustration. There are many more who are truly evil with what they instigate, share, and immerse  themselves in. How sad, and narrow their lives. How black their hearts, and blank their souls. Lesser bad people I see who enjoy to make threats, or upset those who care for them. All cannot not be lost for them. Spread beauty, and joy on the net. Make it so it infiltrates to every corner. Touches every heart, dissipates the darkness surrounding them. Truly....joy to the world.

          I'm going to try to share beauty more, to uplift someone's day. As Alicia brightens my own. If we all did the same, if we all posted something everyday, to cheer others, how wonderful would be our day. How light our mood, how much less our worries..if only for that second.

           So, my friends, search out the beauty, whether it's words, deeds, or pictures, and share with all.

Bring light, and joy to someone you may never meet, or to your dearest friend. It matters not, pile up the beautiful, the pure, the innocent, the wonderful colours, and shapes that make our world. Overpower the rest, and drag the emanations of this world to a higher level.

            To a place where we are all content to be...

                     I wish you all, joy, love, and peace.

                                          A Northland beach . New Zealand

What next? I ask myself...

          For years I worked as a psychic, and apparently, according to my clients, gave good guidance. Doing readings, was for me a little like finding the end of a ball of wool. There is the person, tied up tightly, just like a tightly wound ball of wool, no ends showing, as they sat waiting, before me. My first words always were, " please don't tell me anything about yourself", because it only confuses the issue. I needed a clean sheet before me, with nothing to mislead me, if I was to get any answers at all. As I was a hand reader too, I liked to feel, to hold, the hands, to get a feel of who they were, if you like. I never read a book on palmistry to aid me, again, no complications. Again, what I got had to be what I could trust, what I had learned to trust when tuned to the Alpha. Not what someone else thought the lines meant, that was for them, not me. It was the same with psychic information that came through. As an artist, it was shapes, and colours I saw. I didn't hear the words first, and I didn't see complete scenarios, only simple shapes, and colours, from these, I could make a start. The start was everything, it was discovering the loose end of the wool.

         I could find a relevant shape anywhere. From the pattern on a piece of clothing, to a shadow on the wall. Something in the shape, caught my interest, and if I stared at it for a few seconds, a nugget of information came through. As I spoke, it was as if I were pulling more, and more information into my awareness, pulling a longer length from the ball. Sometimes, the person before me, could be so 'anti' being tricked, or uncertain about the whole process, they were shut....as tight as a drum. Not that I blamed them, where money is involved, there will always be charlatans to take it from people. Many have remembered the unscrupulous. This sometimes made it more difficult for me, but not impossible. It just took me longer to find the 'end' of the wool, so to speak. I talk of the end of the wool, because once I found that, the rest of the information would unwind before me, as I pulled it in towards me. Occasionally, someone would be so determined not to give me any feedback, they would deny what I knew with absolute certainty to be the truth. At those times, I had to stick to my guns, and continue, I knew sooner, or later, they would say it was right, and vindicate the information I gave them, or not, 

but I would know. With most readings, it was far easier, accepting my words, recognising of what I spoke. A yes, even a no, helped make the knowledge flow. The words weren't mine, after all. I was only tuning in to what was around them, or before them. Being a psychic, I likened to watching a boat on a winding river, the analogy is, the person is the boat. I was flying above, able to see around the corners, or to the sides, or along the tributaries. 

          Right now, and the reason I am thinking of the past this morning, is because I wish I could do the same for myself. Of course, even back then, information for myself did not flow. I often had strong feelings about things, or would get a sudden bit of knowledge. I just never saw my choices laid on as clearly as I saw theirs. I say choices, because I always knew that very little was set in stone...FATED. We make choices every day of our lives. About attitude, or action, or more importantly for most...emotion. 'Fate' does not sweep you away willy nilly whilst you are powerless, there are oars in your boat, even an engine. You can only be swept along if you give away your power. By doing everything a partner, or friend says to do, instead of thinking for yourself. Or, by being out of it, by taking drugs, drink, or by failing to act when you should. Saying, 'can't be bothered', 'don't care', generally giving up in one way, or another.

          I have so many important decisions coming up this year. Although it's not immediate, I know this first couple of months is a waiting period. An example of information coming my way.  One, where I must contain my impatience to get on with changes, and.....wait. Something I am not good at. As often with many people, it is finances partially holding me back. As it seems to be with many people in this ongoing world recession. It's not easy to change anything without money. Everything you do, takes something, some financial input. Especially changes of the type I want. One is to move, not just to the next village, or the next county, but overseas again.

          It's not that I hate the UK. The countryside is gorgeous, the history fascinating, I understand the psyche of the people, as I am one of them. I can even cope with the weather, when it stays as mild as this winter has, so far. It's just to live well in England, you need lots of money. Ok well, you do if you want any sort of cultural life, or even a comfortable life. The cold weather is a case in point. Once your income is restricted, as it is when you cannot work full time anymore, you can't keep up with heating expenses, good food, petrol, or travel in general. Suddenly, you have the time, but not the money.

          The power bills, for me, and millions of other people in this country are getting out of control. Many, simply cannot afford to keep warm. Perhaps we expect too much today, turn on the heating when it's cold. Except for many, we are now having to regress, to as it was in the time of our grandparents, or great grandparents. We must leave the heating off, and wrap up with extra clothes, inside the house. We utilise, blankets to wrap up in, during the evening. If the heating is on, it is very low, and it's not on for long. The government advisors, as far out of touch as always, say it's not good for you to be cold, it raises your blood pressure, so people...keep your houses heated. They even give pensioners 200 pounds for winter fuel. What country do they live in, to think that such a small amount, does any good at all. Why heating runs into the thousands. Mine was one thousand pounds for less than three months, and that was only on part time, not on high either. You see what I mean, it's out of control.

         As for entertainment, where are you supposed to find the money to pay for tickets to go anywhere. If you go with a family, even to the pantomime, it costs a few hundred pounds, even if you are cautious. Staying at home, watching TV is fine, because once the licence is paid, you can use it as much as you like. It's no wonder everyone does too much of it. They don't have that much choice, do they. Conversation is fine, so is reading, or computor. Board games are not played any more. Instead, an Internet connection is a must. Except trying to type with freezing fingers is not the easiest thing in the world. My nose is constantly cold, its not good for anyone to live like this. In this country, there are the forgotten people. It is not comfortable, and who could possibly enjoy it? The sun is gone for a long time, as the winters here are long. You can see, however you look at it, there is time to fill, most of it dark, and cold. Especially if you can't afford to go off on a winter holiday to the sun, as some do. Most of us simply cannot.

           As for new clothes, well...what are they? I am even tired of looking at sales, or retro clothing shops. Its about all most of us do, we look. It's not what I would prefer to buy anyway. I know from others, I am not alone in this. A night out, a special meal, either out, or by buying food in, as in something special, is now no longer affordable either. The truth is, in England, we have been on restricted finances for too long. We have managed, and managed, and scraped, and now we have no more resources, call them, savings if you will...although many had none of those, and borrowed, so now are in a much worse place. It is a loan sharks paradise. The population, has nothing to fall back on, no more resources. Believe me, for someone who has always had savings, or who, are perhaps being pressed by creditors, it is a scary prospect. People are feeling the pinch, and it's leaving some nasty bruises.

           Yet still the politicians are posturing, ignorant of the real truth with the people. Imposing sanctions, making further welfare cuts in every area they can think of. All they worry about is looking good to win votes in the next election. On top of that, I have seen the writing on the wall. Call it another sudden premonition from my day at the doctors last week. The time is just about here when the government is cutting back more than ever before. Pension have already been affected, as has the age one can begin them. Plans are afoot for rescinding family allowance, paid for children. Free travel, and no doubt cut payments planned accross the board, for all sorts, is in the wings. Now, I believe they continue with their usual underhand cuts by instructing doctors, and hospitals of a raft of new restrictions. In many cases, we won't even be informed of them. I feel, that without doubt, the word has gone out for the aged, the smokers, the drinkers, and the overweight are to be forthwith denied the medical attention, and treatments, which should be our right.

            I have already seen one such report in the newspapers.'no more treatment for cancer of over 75' it said. This is the 'thin end of the wedge,' believe me. The sanctions, and ineligibly for treatments will go much further. This many tiered, class ridden society, is becoming far worse. Already we have the underclass of the unemployed. Now we are to have another underclass. It will be of all of us, who do not fit some government ideal as far as age, weight, habits, or diet is concerned. 

            I must find, some way of escaping such a restrictive, and uncaring society. Many other individuals  are trying to do so in their own way. Me, well I must do something drastic. As to exactly what, or how, I will have to wait, until I see the options open to me. Both those that come to me, and those I make.

            I will be visualising, and seeing positive pictures of my future. I will be thinking of maybe discoving some sense, or empathy from politicians. Some compassion for their people, hoping for them to display some real care. Instead of playing to the gallery, or merely feathering their own nests, as most seem to do.

            I shall ask my higher self, to help me recognise the right opportunies when they come. I trust, and believe I will. So, you can see, why I would like to be aloft right now, viewing my own path down the rivet of life. Showing me my options, and some of the dangers.

             Never mind, I visualise, that before long, I will see the best opportunity to make a life that is valued, instead of discarded, as too many of us are being at present. If there is one thing I learnt from my years of life, and reading for other people, it is that your circumstances can change dramatically. We, who are without wealth, and power right now, may not always be so. As we, who are judged as 'less than', may not always be so. This government, and any government that follows it, would do well to remember that. 

            The people have long memories, and they are not fools!

            

           

         

Keep on, keeping on.

          I think I am having a period of the winter blues. Everyday, it is a struggle to get through the things I am supposed to do. Oh, it's not a biggie, it's not depression, or anything serious, no it's just harder than usual. All the little hundreds and one jobs I normally do without more than being 'careful,' I say careful,a s in taking it slowly sometimes,  because I can get dizzy without warning, too top-ply. Bringing with it, the danger of falls, and running into inanimate objects. I certainly see the resulting bruises from those. As well, the bigger tasks, like my writing, and exercising, become a mountain to climb. The thing is, I know I need to do them, so am reluctant to let them slide. To exercise regularly is important, it helps me balance, it helps me maintain my fitness levels. Then, I need to write a daily blog, two of them sometimes, if I am to maintain what I begun.w rioting is something I waited to start until I had time...in my case coming down with....whatever M.E. Is caused by. If you have not got good health, you have not got anything. I worry a lot about getting so behind, that it will overwhelm me. I worry about feeling exhausted, annoyed for falling asleep when I sit down, all tied up to my health, and the grey miserable days of an English winter. Short days where it barely gets light, there are two, or three hours in the middle of the day when the greyness is a little brighter, but not proper daylight, not really. I hate being unfit, feeling less than 100%, and I do so want to keep up with everything. 

       I know, I have said it here so many times. Be positive, be pro-active, and create your own reality. Telling myself as much  as anyone, understanding it's the only way to get ahead. Now I say solely to me, 'just do it!...be positive, wipe out the negative thoughts, and  feelings crowding you'. Well, you know, I never said it was easy did I. If only someone else could help, or better yet, do it for me. No, I jest, although, maybe not entirely. I also know that's not going to happen though, is it?  

        Domestic chores are a bore at the best of times. There are so many more interesting things, I can find to do instead. Right now though, I have to beat myself into doing the boring jobs, the repetitive jobs. This includes putting energy into my future, energy I don't have right now. Oh joy, I think, somewhat annoyed, and also, how pathetic of me. Am I man or mouse? If I make excuses for my shortcomings! I can say that my M.E. is raging, as it does often. When it does, my glands swell, particularly those in the bend of my elbow, making every task a little painful, even typing. My muscles ache, particularly my neck, shoulders, and upper arms. I really feel as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, physically, as well as any other way. On top of that, when the Exhaustion Syndrome (capital letter) flares, my energy levels plummet. Something I don't even realise is happening sometimes, until every small thing in my day, starts taking on gigantic proportions.

        'Come on', I chivvy myself, 'come onnnnnn'. It's a trick which sometimes works, and sometimes only results in frustration. That's why, if I am not careful with my mood, with my attitude, I end up like this. With a case of the winter blues. Those are the days I could stay in bed, sometimes, they are the days I 'should' stay in bed. Yet, I try to keep on as normal. I may venture out a little later, I may miss some excercise, but I do try to maintain a semblance of my routine.

          It's what you must do, no matter the odds, no matter the obstacles, no matter anything else.

Just keep on, keeping on. Don't let anything stop you. Don't let anything  cause you to abandon your ideals, or principles, or even your daily goals. The only people who truly fail, are those that give up before the race is run.....or before it is finished. Pretend there is no finish, one horizon reached, leads smoothly to the next.

           I know life gets difficult, I know it is often hard, and dispiriting. I know there are days you would rather just sink through the mattress, and never show your face to the world. All I can say is.....give it heaps.

          Remember, KEEP ON, KEEPING ON.

            You will be pleased you did.

           

          

Live in the now

                                      LIVE in the  PRESENT, because it is a PRESENT.

        We all know this, make the most of the 'now.' Or, live in the present. It just means to make the most of every day, without losing sleep, or wasting time worrying about what you did wrong yesterday, or even worse, mistakes made last year, or last decade. I suppose if it's yesterday, truly, the day before today, that you upset someone, or did something you can reverse, or apologise for, then do it right now. Making a mistake right again, is good. Otherwise, what's the point. If it's so long gone, and you can't do anything about changing it, then don't waste your time, and don't waste your energy. There are better things to do with your time right now.

        The same goes for planning, thinking, scheming for your future, what you want to happen, or are worrying about not happening tomorrow, or next week. What's best to do, is put the plan or idea, for the future into action, visualise it coming to pass, then forget it. Because if you don't let it go, unless your new, and continued input is very organised, it becomes mere worrying, useless fretting. It takes time from your day, it takes your focus off the day you are living right now. You know, and I know, that it's always best to put your energy into the day you are living now.....into today!

        Today, is a day you will never get again. You have had yesterday, you can only do the basics for tomorrow, but today...live it with passion. Make every second count, and don't waste any of it. Get up early, if you can, health permitting of course. I know we don't all have good health. But some of the most 'full of life' people I know, have some sort of problems. It can make you determined to make the most of your time. They fill their life, each day, with things they love. So, aim for having a full day, an enjoyable day. If something goes wrong, or doesn't pan out exactly as you wish, don't let it derail you. Cope with it as best you can, and carry on. Don't let it hit your confidence, or your zest for life. Things can't always work out exactly as you wish.

          The difference between a person who is a success in life, and one who is a failure, is determination. They never give up, if they get knocked down, they get up again, they try again. If you ever read the story of most rich, self made people, they have failed more than once. Many have gone bankrupt many times, but each time, began again. They have resilience, they understand, that sometimes too many aspects of what you are trying is out of their control. It's a bit like any accident that happens. An accident is caused when two, or three different elements come together at the same time. It might be someone, driving too fast, someone else not looking before stepping off the pavement, and say, wet conditions, or a bright light, causing differences in stopping time, perhaps longer, or not so straight. Becoming rich, or having the best day ever, has the same make up of elements to it. Everything, or at least several important aspects need to come together at the same time, in order to make it happen. Serendipity..... so, becoming despondent about something in your day, or it being disappointing, is a real waste of time. Everything is not under your control, nor will it ever be. Just let that stuff go.

            I also know some people, myself too, at times, who spend a lot of time regretting the past. What has happened, has happened. There is nothing you can do to change it. Those decisions were taken long ago, as were the results from them. All you can do, is learn from it. Ensure, if you can, that you don't make the same mistake again. You change, and adjust.

           OK  then folks, make the most of your day. Even if you have no money, have no friends waiting to go out with you, all is not lost. Do the things that make you happy. Read a good book, or write one. But, go somewhere nice to do it, somewhere beautiful. Down by the sea, up in the hills, or in the garden. Paint a picture, it doesn't matter how good it is, as long as it gives you pleasure, or, go look at some. The galleries are free, and this country (every country) is full of wonderful art. Go for a walk, a run, a swim, a work out. Because any sort of excercise gives you the feel good factor. Push yourself a bit harder than usual, get the endomorphines flowing. Or visit freinds, perhaps make a meal for your friends. Even try doing some experiment with recipes. Go on a trip, or plan a trip. Often the planning is exciting, almost as exciting as the trip itself sometimes. Even, look up interesting places to go, using the Internet, or magazines. Why, there are lots of free places out there, if you don't have money. Or find out about an interest, a place, an era, a person. The web has infinite possibilities. Really, make the most of every day.

         I know, many of us, have too much to do. We work, we have family obligations or domestic responsibilities. Just ensure you save some time every day, for yourself. It's not selfish, because if you're happy, everyone around you will benifit. You have so much more to give. It just as much about attitude,a s it is about time. See the funny side of life.

          The other side effect of bringing some vitality to your life, is that you are going to start feeling so good about yourself, and your life. Therefore, able to enjoy it even more.

          Life isn't always easy, but it can be improved by the right attitude to it. It may not enable you to be on a high all the time, but any improvement is a step in the right direction....isn't it.

           Laugh fully, live now, breathe, smell, see, feel, and make the most of every second, of every day.

                                      HAVE FUN OUT THERE.

   

Frustrations of writing

        Yesterday, I wrote a really good article, replacing a partial blog already written. One I was unhappy with, it took some drastic rewriting. I can honestly say, I was pleased with the second piece. Often, you are not pleased with what you write, this time I was. I had written, a very nice, politically aware piece on the nature of observed trends in society at present. Concerning the direction this government is taking the country. Observing how insiduously it is happening.

        Today, ready to complete it, and wanting to re read it before doing so, I open the page. Would you believe.....there it was, GONE.

        How it happened I can only guess. It was late at night, I was finishing it in bed, and became tired. Shutting it all down, and obviously omitting to save the work properly. Now, I am dispirited. I have no idea where to begin to write it again. Everything flowed yesterday. Facts, and figures, connections I made between newspapers articles, and political trends. The conclusions I came to, were concise and sensible. Some of it quite inspired I thought. Of course, I would think that, especially now that it's gone.

          I do regret its loss though......part of the joys of being a writer I suppose. Back up your work correctly, make no mistakes in that direction. Sod's law says if you do, it will be some of the best work you have done.

          Sometimes life is just not fair is it. If it were, what would we writers write about.

          Does that help me come to terms with its loss.

          NO! 

           Never, but another hard lesson learnt.....again

Fuss pots ! : I know a few

       As always with these statements, whether for my blogs or for any other reason, as soon as I make the statement, I question it. Perhaps, it's actually me who is the fuss pot. Just for judging someone else a fuss pot, now isn't that a hoot. Or, at the least, I am as guiltly, as they, aren't I? Ahh, the curse of being able to see both sides of an argument. It really does me no good at all. Why can't I just be bloody minded, and forget about looking further into it.

        I read somewhere once, that one is likely to be judged on the basis of what the person doing the judging would do, or why. In other words, they think they know exactly where you are coming from, because it's how they would react, or why they would be doing that. I must say, I think that in many instances, that is very much what happens. Not always though, certainly not a 100% of the time. Of course, as I said yesterday, there are always exceptions to the rule. So, perhaps in general, it's how it happens, but no rule is inflexible. Rules, are only rules, until they get broken. That's my 'rule' anyhow.....I know, I know, it's the way it is in my head.

         Of course, I did a little philosophy, as part of my three year teaching qualifications at the University of London . It began with the old argument, 'what is freedom? ' as one persons freedom, is another's restrictions, or lack of freedom, if that's the correct way to put it. You know how it works, someone may want the freedom to play their music loudly all night. Which, means someone else, who wants the freedom to sleep in peace and quiet, cannot do so. Who's freedom is more important, how do you negotiate. I'm not sure I have ever got beyond that first argument. Or, perhaps I was there, to begin with. It might just be my natural character. 

          I do recall, the whole freedom philosophy, was pretty mind blowing to me at the time. I felt I had been offered a whole new insight into how relationships, and  greater society, operated. In fact, how difficult it is for us all to live together with any real freedoms. There is no such thing is there. I suppose big ideas, make big impressions, as it did with me. I had certainly given no conscious thought to it before.

            We all learn to give and take as part of living together in social groupings. Even something as simple as bullying, begins with children, physically, or verbally objecting to another child being different from the norm. Acting differently, by their behaviour, or looking different somehow, their appearance. Censure can be harsh, even at that young age. It's, attacking the different, the weaker, the one considered not like them. A behaviour, even simple chickens do, so ingrained is it as a social behaviour? They will constantly peck at one of their group, how they choose the unfortunate one, I do not know.  I have seen them attack 'en masse', and kill the rejected one, considered too different. Perhaps that's why, everyone feels they must knock bullying on the head. Because allowing that behaviour, or attitude is bound to lead to much worse. As a society, we should be nurturing, and protecting, not attacking, and isolating. We must, learn how to live together, or society becomes completely unworkable. Whether that be as a family, a neighbourhood, or the larger world. The bigger the area involved, the more diverse the people, the larger any problems involved becomes. Purely because, there are so many cultural differences involved. 

             Not least of which is religion. We all know how many wars wars are fought over the question of religious freedoms. Tied up with those religions, are the cultural, sociological aspects of those groups. So many elements of how other people choose to live, for anyone to disagree with. Or, perhaps people think that these beliefs of others, May, or are, infringing on their own rights. That's living in fear of losing your own freedoms. How many times do we see these things blow up, from objections to clothes, or social practices, in the newspapers. Right up to fundamentalists deciding to destroy those people in the world, who insist of doing things differently to how they believe it should be done. We all realise, we are all in the middle of that, the terrorists, those who kill with impunity. Politicians address them they say, but do they? We see these problems still ongoing today,  I say begin at ground level. Each one of us helping others,especially the different, where we can.

             Isn't it what dictators are all about? They say, this isnt the way things will be done in this country. To that end, gathering followers, and funds until eventually they are able to rule the place in their way, ignoring or worse, the rest. They want to have all of their own personal freedoms, they don't want any give, and take. Their aim is to make the rules for everyone, to give themselves a society exactly as they want. A selfish aim, that inevitably leads to imprisonment, torture, or murder. Or, in the past, to mass, world wide, genocide. We all still remember that one. Its still reverberating in the world today. 

            Back to the begiinning then, to the fuss pot who annoyed me today. I'm sure we all have one, or more than one. Because despite our best intentions, we all have likes, and dislikes. We all have freedoms we don't want others infringing, or at least, not all the time. Things that annoy us because we would not do the same, although the fuss pot may consider, quite wrongly, they know the reason for our reaction. We must not be too quick to judge others must we. 

            So slow down out there, be considerate, be adaptable. Have a bit of flexibility. To do something in a different way, won't kill you. Whereas, to insist on your own way every time, will eventually cause big problems....potentially bigger than you want.

             Freedom for all I say. Or at least as many as are possible, for all of us. Live, and let live.

             Consideration for others? Give and take?

             Adaptability? Flexibility? Compromise?

             What do you think?

Do something good every day

        I have not been at my best this last fortnight. It's been like wading through treacle to try and keep up with my writing. Sleep, my body says....sleep. So I do, whether I want to or not. I fall asleep everywhere, watching tv, in a cafe, one day, even having a sit down in the bathroom, after my shower. Cat naps they used to call them. Except that cats seem, to sleep undisturbed for hours at a time. They don't have shopping, or laundry to do. They don't have writing to keep up with, or jobs to do. I madea vow  to myself to write this blog every day, and I have kept up with it really well, but for goodness sakes...it's wearing me down now. The cat, well it has a pretty good life doesn't it. Someone will make sure they are fed, or watered, or whatever. No, they stretch out, in the warmest spot, and sleep whenever they fancy. There is no guilt, no timetable, they stretch out, their body boneless, it's so relaxed. Barely bothering to open an eye from morning to night.

          Even when I give in, lie down, allow myself five, ten, fifteen minutes of pure napping. It stops nothing, it certainly doesn't solve my tiredness problems. It all resumes again, as soon as I resume an alert posture. Ha! Obviously, not such an alert posture after all....sleep keeps creeping up, on slippered, silent feet. It's true, I cough, and suffer a bit in the night. Everything seems worse in the middle of the night. Perhaps I am not getting enough rest, good rest. Then, in the night, the throat feels as if it's cut, not just sore. The head is as heavy as a cannon ball. The ears, and nose ache, everything aches, even my neck, and won't stop. As I creep about, in the dark, getting drinks, or rubbing on Vic's vapour rub, or clutching heating pads, I long for morning.....for an end to this torture.

           When it comes, of course I am like a dead slug, trying to get from under the covers. Perhaps I should be kinder to myself, and stay in bed for the day. I did do it one day, I slept most of the day, which did not help me the next night. Not at all, you would think it would, but no.  The cycle just continues, it's like Groundhog Day. I cannot see an end, or an improvement in sight.

            Of course, the doctor can't see you for, oh how long, a fortnight? You can see the nurse if your are desperate...I am, I am, I am desperate. Oh we don't give antibiotics, although I will write a prescription, but don't have it filled unless you are burning with fever, or much worse. No, I promise, I 'll keep managing. Which, I do of course. I am such a MAN! Well, I've told you that before haven't I. At a least I'm not alone here, so I shan't die in the night, and no one know for days. But, no one notices my nightly sojourns. Which, is exactly as I intend I suppose. I can manage, course I can. Stiff upper lip, and all that.

         Of, course, it didn't get worse, I didn't fill the prescription, I didn't die. It has...almost.... gone, although it still flares up from time to time. Or, is that hour, to hour. It's a strange malady, well, they are nowadays aren't they? In fact, nothing in the world around you, is the same as you remember in your childhood, or your parents childhood. That is like another race of beings altogether, that one, only memories inside your head.

        Ok, I am sure you are all very pleased you will get to read lots more from me. I must find time to get back to editing my books, get them ready for publishing. Blogs are great, I ha had several months on them now,  but I want to complete those books. I have been on them enough years, its more than time. Who knows, I could be the next big thing. Just as soon as my ears stop aching again....

        Oh yes, and the title of this blog, despite what happens in your life, remember we are all here to help each other. It can be in minuscule ways. Tell someone they look nice, or how pleased you are to see them. Or, offer to do something to help them out. Because you never really know how they feel inside, how well they are coping with their life. Or, they may just be as awkward as me, and not admit when they would love someone to cosset them a little.

          If only I did not have that devil on my shoulder, saying,' you can manage' or 'for gods sakes, stop moaning, and complaining' who wants to hear it. No one. I fear.

         So...back to the drawing board, or, in my case the iPad. Get this life moving again. Tomorrow, who knows, I may get through, an entire morning. Or afternoon without falling asleep unexpectedly. Now, wouldn't that be good?

         

          

It's life......as we know it

           Life is strange isn't it. Well, actually it's strange, and wonderful.....and more than a bit weird, yes definitely weird. It is, really you know, except you never know, that feeling of 'strangeness' might be me, not life at all. Ha ha. I may be just externalising the events of my life, and the reasons for them. Not willing, or able to take the blame for things I should. Not only me, perhaps you..may be doing it too. I read somewhere, its quite natural to do this. Children do it all the time, but we adults shouldn't, should we. We should be accountable, and know that we are. Know WHO we are.

          We often move the blame for whatever's happening in our life, and transfer it elsewhere. It's just easier to cope with that way, it is isnt it!  As in, when we say, 'it's not my fault, it's yours '. Or, 'you make me so angry'. Or, perhaps the more subtle approach, 'you're impossible....' be that to talk to, to understand, to love, or whatever it is the person, me, or you, is finding difficult about how they are reacting to another person.

           It's all to do with owning your own life, your mistakes. After all, we all make mistakes, unless we sit in a box somewhere, and don't interact with anyone. It's taking responsibility for your decisions, and/or your actions. Sometimes, for your lack of either of those two things. I'm not sure it's something that comes naturally to us. Although it might, I suppose, come more naturally to some. If it does, then I have yet to meet that person, or perhaps have failed to recognise that strength in someone else. Do you think that's because I find it so difficult myself? Or, have found it so. It could be, because lord knows I'm not perfect by any means.

          Of course, I have seen a person take responsibility for dreadful things. There have been times, when I too, have done so. Watched my life, or parts of my life, disintegrate around me. Primarily, because of something I decided, or I did. When guilt hits, when you know, and you cannot escape the knowledge that it was your actions, or words, that led directly to some disaster, some calamity, now out of your control.

          'It is your fault!' , or 'you did this, I warned you!'.

          Those dreadful words, thrown at you when your heart is already wounded, when you are already in shock, because of the 'fall out', can strike deeply. The dismay, and anguish you feel at such times, is not easily forgotten. Nor should it be, we need to remember our mistakes. Not forget, when before us, stands the results of our own selfishness, our own blind, or unthinking actions. Not when we see, and feel the pain inflicted on a loved one. Even if not directed at them. We need to remember, so that we can learn from those mistakes. What we should not do, is accept another's assessment of the situation. Not be blind for the second time, accepting all blame, by wallowing in our guilt. 

            This is why, from the outset, we should take full responsibility for ourselves, and our actions. Don't shift the blame, as someone is perhaps doing to you, when in the midst of that personal disaster. If you say, 'no one makes me angry, I am choosing to be angry.' To react angrily. Yes, only by taking  responsibility for your own actions, and emotions can you be you! It is a firm step in the right direction. They may do something annoying, or frustrating, even hurtful to me, but no one else controls my emotions..... only me! If I react to some outside stimuli, some situation, or words, whatever..... by going crazy, becoming violent, screaming, jumping off a cliff, or killing myself even, it is me who made the decision. No one else, only me....or rather, in your case, in your life, you!

              Therefore, always accept your part in the situation, the current problem. Realise too, that always other people are making decisions at the same time, even if small ones. 100% of the situation is not yours alone. Yet, by accepting your part, your own responsibilty, you are giving yourself some room to manoeuvre, to change your mind. Because instead of becoming angry, violent, flouncing, whatever, you are taking a breathing space, and thinking of a real answer, a better answer. Perhaps, lord preserve us, the best solution, Instead of just a reaction, that does no one any good. A reaction, which if you are honest, is more than likely, just a habit. This habit, instead, actually acerbates the situation, making it worse, and eventually, more confusing......worse.

               We already know it, if we screwed up big time. Or, should be in no doubt, when we do so. Except, not in the case when you are accepting someone else's blame, only your own version. No, begin now, to accept that only you, control your emotions, and your choices. That way, everything has to improve. It must. Except, like life, it's complicated. No general rule is infallible, it can't be. There are always exceptions to the rule. The same with blame, don't accept others assessment of YOU. Be your own man/woman. Except 'man' is the correct term here. Purely because of the connotations these words accumulate, in a sexist way. But let's not get sidetracked here.That's a Blog for another day.       

                Ok....perhaps it's not the victims fault in the matter of say, genocide, or some other type of physical harm to others. Perhaps in failing to protect someone, or something too small, or innocent to protect itself, for instance. Then the blame is in no way theirs, but these incidents are few.....I feel.

                What it come down to, the gist of these thoughts of mine. Is, to be responsible for your own life, your own self. Especially, for your own thoughts, actions, and emotions. Never, ever, say, 'you made me.......' Because it is the largest lie you can ever tell yourself, and the biggest cop out!

                 Be happy out there...and be responsible.

Krill ....the latest discovery, or, the next upset in the food chain

       Everywhere recently, you see advertisements advising the taking of krill. Touted, as the latest, most beneficial supplement. The best fish oil for our health, it's said, to be far improved from ordinary fish oil. I think we all know about the benifits of ingesting fish oils, it's the good oil, the omega 3 we need for our health. The free radicals, the cure, if you like, or the dumbing down of the bad fats already eaten, the harm already done. The form of trans fats making up the many forms of hydrogenised oils available. This blend, or altered fat, is found in many grain based foods today, particularly baked foods, to improve their shelf life. Also used as frying oils, in restaurants or fast food outlets. As well as the basis for margarine, butter substitutes, and other alternative fats.

        Basically, hydrogenised oil, is vegetable oils, blended with hydrogen. Sometimes found in non modified foods, like butter, cream, and dairy in general, and meats, chicken, or beef. Although, many believe these to be less harmful, and/or smaller doses than in the man made versions. Eating these bad fats, can, and does result in a build up of cholesterol within our arteries. This build up of the trans fats, causes narrowing, or hardening of the arteries. Eventually causing strokes, and heart attacks we all know, are some of the biggest killers of modern man.

         Because of publicising the effects of the manufactured food, on the body, there has recently been a big swing back to natural butter, for spreads, and cooking. We all know how tasty butter rich, and cream enriched food tastes. Yet, we must also remember moderation in all things, is always a good maxim, not to overdo indulging in anything. However, it is much better to forgo as many manufactured, and baked goods as we can, all, if at all possible. These foods, have become normal, something we need to reverse, for our health.

          Yes we know, we need to eats lots of fresh, or even tinned, oily fish. Failing this, to take some good supplements. Up until recently, these capsules were manufactured from fish. Using omega 3, the fatty acids in the form of triglycerides. This was a good source of the good fats, the natural antioxidant, in fish oil. Now, some company (many companies?) have come up with a way to use Krill for the same purpose. Krill is the small shrimp like, plankton, found all around the seas of the world, in varying quantities. It's the soup of the sea. It's at the base of the food chain, primarily a food for whales, seals, penguins, squid and fish. If it were seriously depleted, it would cause major devestation amongst wildlife, and ultimately to man.

          So far, though, it's availability, and popularity grows apace. It's publicised as the fish oil without the fishy after taste, as five times stronger than normal fish oil, more easily absorbed, and sustainable. Not only does it carry only omega 3, but astaxanthin, protecting better against free radical damage, and, it is whispered..ageing! It is pollution free, with no build of heavy metals as fish, like tuna can have. As well as a two year shelf life, something always advantageous to big business.

          Now, I am not a scientist, a doctor, or any kind of academic in the scientific sense. I am not even a dietician. Only an ordinary teacher, turned writer, more spiritual than academic, I think. Also, a long time advocate of keeping fit, eating as well as you can, and yes, taking supplements. So, of course, you can dismiss all of this as the latest ravings of my brain. I have been interested in food, and nutrition for many years, and investigated, ok...tried, almost every diet known to man. I know all the arguments, about such synthetic additives passing through the body, mostly unused, and more recently, of unscrupulous manufactures selling dummy vitamins, minerals, and even medicines. Anything goes when it comes to making money it seems.which is what worries me with krill.

        I must admit, my antennae went up when I first heard of krill become commercial. So much of what we rely on in the seas has been depleted. So many animals, and natural wonders now extinct, or almost so. Almost inevitably because we, they, those people making money from them, or wanting to benifit from eating them or taking them, (like us) did not think they were in any danger. Or, did they, we, question the outcome at all?

         Now, reading whatever articles I could find, in order to more fully understand the way of transfats, free radicals, omega 3, and the sustainability of krill, I see more questions, than answers. It's not unfair to  say, that those trumpeting the loudest, about it being impossible to overfish krill, are those selling it. A few voices are raised in the other direction, of caution. An odd one or two, trying to be unbiased, also give the facts, which, to me, are worrying.

           Of course, I want to take it, I have some creaky joints in this damp, I want something to reverse the damage of years on my body, and I want arteries unclogged by cholesterol. All I urge is, investigate before you join in the free for all of skimming such a basic building block from the seas. Type 'krill' into Google, and you will be surpised how much there is out there, on the subject.

           As  I said, I'm a dyslexic, non genius, but thinking member of this planet. I just don't want to be in any way responsible for the demise of any part of it.

           It makes fascinating reading, I think I have the facts correct of how it all works. But if I have made mistakes, then the fault is mine, because as always, I am trying to put into words, something I think may be crossing the minds, of more than just me.

           I found this good site: but there are many...

#supplement-geek.com/krill-oil-fish-oil-krill-oil-benefits-side-affects/ 

           So, before you buy krill, please check it out.

ali keilly writes: Oh the joy of gyms...unchanging really, from one d...

ali keilly writes: Oh the joy of gyms...unchanging really, from one d...:           It's that time of the year isn't it. The time when, full of enthusiasm, we join, or rejoin the gym, that place full of mec...

Oh the joy of gyms...unchanging really, from one decade to the next

          It's that time of the year isn't it. The time when, full of enthusiasm, we join, or rejoin the gym, that place full of mechanical torture instruments. Each one, larger, and more fiendishly complicated than the one before. We start out well, convinced that this time, it WILL work. We will go regularly, we will get fitter, feel better, help the diet succeed, whatever happens to be our aim this time.  Our 'whole life' will begin to feel better then, of course. A healthy body, equals a healthy mind, a healthy mind, perhaps the ability to succeed in life, where last we failed. 

          Of course it will do all of that, of course it does everything, and more. We can do this, other people do, I've seen the pictures, read the articles. I won't make the same mistakes as last time, or last year? Will I? You know, the tomorrow story, ' I can't get there today, but I will tomorrow.' Ahh, well, we all know that tomorrow never comes, don't we. When you get to tomorrow, it's today...you just cannot reach it. It must be NOW! Right now, immediately, or success slips away from you. It's how life works, exactly like that. Immediate action, no procrastination, equals success, or at least, a jolly good try!

            All those things, too often go through the minds of the newly converted, with resolutions fresh in their head. Oh, it's all right for those gym bunnies, who are already into getting the surge of endorphins, released through heavy excercise. Ok, for the regulars, the super fit, the athletes, the ones who can!.....and do. You see them in, and around the gym all the time don't you? As you slink in quietly, with your mismatched gear, your unused trainers, and the wrong socks, dithering on the sidelines. They are the sleek looking ones, in the serious track suits, with the correct trainers for the job. The ones already working up a sweat on the bench press, or pounding along like an antelope, on the running machine. They know everyone, or else they work with a level of concentration, you know you can never achieve. Oh please, don't look at how I'm doing it, you think. Putting in an extra ounce or two of pressure, to impress. What me? Trying to impress, I never would! But you do, sometimes.

           It's all very well, for these super fit beings, who own the gym space, who know the best times to go, to get the machines they want. What about the rest of us though? The people like me, who, maybe not every year, but regularly, begin it all over again. Begin the fight, for fight it is, to get fit...er, ok, fitter. Who start, maybe looking at our diet, and almost certainly at the leval of cardio vascular excercise we actually do. Not counting the shopping bags hauled home the other day, or the morning you ran, very inelegantly, for the bus. You know the real orchestrated stuff we are supposed to do, to make our heart beat faster. To increase our heart rate, get the blood flowing. The way we are supposed to do several times a week, yes.... several. I know, really, I know. It's people like me, these instructions, and recommendations are mostly aimed at. The well meaning, wish I were fitter, but I'm no good at running, sort of person. Just like me! Aimed to hit my guilt muscle squarely, which it did again, quite recently.

           I sometimes console myself with the thought, that gyms are a fairly recent phenomenon. That is, apart from the old style boxing gyms. You must have seen the old films, where boxers training for a fight, had the scruffy bare room. With a boxing ring in the middle, a punch bag, to knock seven bells out of, a skipping rope, with which they were very light on their feel, as well as fast. Or, maybe running, along the road, trailed by a manager in a car, before being wrapped in a white robe, with a towel wrapped around their head, and jaw, as their hands were bandaged. Mumbling, mangled vowels, through thick lips, 'I know Arry, I'll do the job right'. Trained, honed, and ready for the gloves to go on, for the fight. They were just about the only gyms, once upon a time. 

           I never saw one, apart from at school, which were vast seas of polished wood, and swinging ropes. Where, every week, they tried to make me jump over a ridiculously high vaulting horse, covered in suede of all things, I seem to remember. Unsuccessfully over, I might add, although I did cause much 'hair tearing' from the 'butch' teacher, as I failed in a variety of inventive postures. Now, gyms seem to be everywhere, and there are more opening up all the time. Springing up like mushrooms, all over the place, they are, it's amazing. Many of them very smart, and expensive looking. The latest way to make a quick buck maybe, or the start of a trend? Who knows. Although, I must say, many of the older ones, have been around for quite a few years now.

              You may not believe it, to look at me now, but I have always been interested in keeping healthy, keeping fit. I remember at thirteen, fourteen, doing nightly excercises lying on the top of Grandmas bed. Leg lifts, pedalling, with legs in the air, sit ups, all sorts. In those early days, I invented my own excercise regime. Lord knows where I got them from. Magazines, or tv, something like that. Oh, if only I had known I was in the prime of my health then, with inexhaustable energy. Limbs that would reach anywhere, and zing with energy, or fold anywhere, without creaking. Of course, I didn't know, and no one told me. Probably, they just shook their heads, and thought, ' she'll learn! When she has to work, as well as exercise. ' When it's no longer a game, but hard work. As it is now, as it definitely is now.

             Over the years, I have gone through this renaissance many times. With varying degrees of success. A few times, achieving the right fitness level, and even slimness to feel very virtuous. The trouble is, with every year that passes, my downward slide into slothfulness, and a relaxing lifestyle, gets harder to reverse. If I am honest, much harder to face, even, to plan for. I have to keep trying of course, when I finally give up, I will be on the downward slope towards old age. Something I am not ready to face yet. If ever, I have to add.....right now, before I forget. Something else that needs a bit of a nudge sometimes, is my memory. Perhaps, they should make excercise compulsory for everyone over a certain age, in the same way they do with school age children. We would all carp, complain, and try to avoid it. Just the same as we do now, but for free maybe. It would be a good thing in the long run though, wouldn't it?.

           Anyway, here we still are, trying to cope with self motivation. One of the things that got me there, to the gym regularly, in the past, was going with my friend, and having a good 'perve' at the young male eye candy on display, all busy flexing their pecs, as they worked out. Well, why not? we thought. Men have done it for years, why not us? It was great fun, we did no harm, and it spurred us on to work harder. I'm not sure if I still have the naughty sense of humour, required  for such an excercise any more! Nor, does my friend live in the  same country as myself now. I also have to bear in mind, they might accuse me of 'stalking' them.That certainly wasn't around when last I looked, either.

            But hey, I take it a bit easier nowadays, I began walking a bit at first, then swimming regularly. Better for the joints, don't you know, now....the thought of the gym is beckoning. Perhaps I still can, you know, work a few machines, stretch a few muscles...get back into the swing of things.

            Hell, I might even see some good looking, muscle bound, men. The trouble is, will it be like with the policemen, will they all look about 'twelve' to me? Now that's enough to make you concentrate on your excercise, isn't it.

           

             

What scares you?

         Perhaps it depends on your age, and/or your experience? I say that, because I remember when I was much younger, I was often scared. As in terrified, when adrenalin would flood my body, making me shake, and the world faded from my eyes, as the blood drained from my head. It seems silly now, 

but I fainted a lot in those days. There were too many such times, when I had no idea what to do next. Feeling as if the world was about to fall on my head, so completely out of control, was I. It felt a little like being carried along, on the back of a wild, but ethereal, giant horse. Only just managing to hang on to the mane, with no saddle or anything else to cling to. So, far to fall, so little to help me stay on, it was a tough call. Maybe, those were the days when I 'expected' life to be tough, to be difficult.

          Well, you know what they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!. That must be what happened, because little frightens me now. I know what ever it is, you just do the best you can, follow through, and it will work out somehow. I have been lucky too. But then, I learnt a long time ago, that luck actually is......

           Labouring, Under, Correct, Knowledge. L.U.C.K. In other words, find out all you can about the situation, then you can make the best decision.

           Of course, I know who I am now. I have had lots of experience, and also know what I can cope with. I know I am strong, persistant, I don't give up easily, and I also expect different things. With all of those life problems, the only way to find out, what is the best way through... Just keep going. 

           If you read some of my earlier blogs, you know I believe in 'creating your own reality'. Stop expecting disasters, in fact, expect good luck, expect good opportunities. It takes a bit of practice, but then so does everything, you don't get to drive a car, without practice. Or even do your hair, or be good at your job, pass exams. Whatever, it all takes practice. 

           What started me off on this topic, I was talking to a young girl on twitter, who had experienced a nasty fright. Just something a man said, and did as she passed. A nasty habit of some men, unfortunately. He perhaps, thought he was being terrible clever, smooth, whatever. Or, perhaps he knew exactly what he was doing! It's not right though, never ok to frighten someone. I wanted to give her something, a small strength she could build on, so that she gets over being scared as easily.       

          Being vulnerable is not empowering, in fact, its the opposite. I found that acting brave, often leaks through, and makes you braver, a little braver every time. Don't slouch along, looking nervous. Walk tall, act confidently, don't take chances, of course, but don't expect trouble either. Take up meditation, it's great at helping you find your inner you, the real you. The person you can be, the person you were meant to be. When you're young, there is so much to discover...mostly about yourself. Approach it with excitement, with confidence. With each step you take, you will grow stronger, tremble less. 

            Believe me. I know, I have been there. Been in some scary situations too, but never had anything dreadful happen. Of course, you lose people, or jobs, or money, or sometimes your health. Every one of those things, must be faced, must be dealt with. Don't let the world knock you down, don't let it scare you so you don't try again.

            Think brave, act brave, and you will become brave. Laugh at stupid people, like that man. Who does he think he is? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you! It's what you think of yourself that's important. So ...if you have to, if you're not sure, say every day, into the mirror, I am worthwhile, I am confident. I am beautiful, I am successful, I am happy.....and, frankly, anything else you want to be, or to feel. It doesn't matter whether you are fourteen, or forty...or older.

            I guarantee, it WILL work. Stick to it, and enjoy the changes.

            Be strong, and happy out there.

             Believe in yourself!

         

         

Getting fit........or driving yourself crazy? Or, is the world crazy anyhow.

         We all want to be as healthy as possibly, don't we. I'm not sure that we all put enough effort into making it so, though. Or know the best way to do it all. Well, it's all very confusing. It's not as if there are strict guidelines. A regime you can stick to, or else fail. Nothing at all that simple. Oh no, the rules are fluid, they change with the wind. Every day a new discovery, so they say. Genetics, is it the key to everything? Every time you open the paper it says don't do that! Do this. No matter that the day before, they told you the opposite.

         Every time you pick up a newspaper, or magazine, there are all sorts of articles about health in there. Giving you the recipe for the perfect diet, the perfect intake of this or that. You have to look at your diet, your weight, your food, and vitamin intake. Then, whether to be vegetarian, or white/lean meat only, or eat what you like, maybe a full out carnivore. Do you drink alcohol? Or no alcohol. Do you drink a little? Surely, a little is good for you? Or, Is it good for you, not good for you, I can't remember now, what did it say? Water, yes, what about water, some water, six pints of waters daily, spa water, tap water. Fizzy drinks, non fizzy drinks. Then, what about sugar, no sugar, fruit sugar, honey....honey yes, that's got to be it. Natural is good isn't it. Or, is that out if date now?

        What about stimulants, no coffee, no tea, no coca cola, no alcohol, some alcohol. Drugs, have you ever touched those? Now we are getting to the bigger questions, the serious stuff. Or, are they, it all seems to be important when you read the articles. Have you tried Wacky baccy, sorry, marijuana, or class A drugs, or none. Is there something in between...ahh I know Ketamine, that's the latest. I know, I know, I watch the the TV. programs. It takes a lot of keeping up with. I get confused that's for sure. Perhaps it's only prescription medication that's bad for you. Doctors doping us all up on antidepressants, or even giving out too many antibiotics. They say they don't work anymore. What about super nits? Hey? Who wants them...stratch stratch. 

        No, doctors have it wrong don't they, giving out drugs, willy nilly. Then, whether they want to do it right or not, there are restrictions on how long we can stay in their office....crazy, targets. It's all about targets with the police too. Solve this many crimes, does it have to be the right people arrested, or will anyone do? How can people be reduced to bare numbers on a sheet. That can't be right. Especially with the doctors, you're vulnerable if you're ill, or your child is ill. Really crazy, how long we must wait to get even get into their surgery at all. How many patients they have, how rich are they getting...oh, and dentists...they are the WORST, so I read...oh there's a lot of dodgy stuff going on there it seems. At least, if the papers are to be believed. Is it all about profit, big business. Prescription drugs are actually the worst, are they though? Maybe? Who knows! How am I to know any more. Maybe we are just all eating ourselves to death, if not over eating, then with additives in our food we know nothing about. So, it doesn't matter. 

         Such an avalanche of information, and accusations flying about. They can certainly be just as bad I hear, how many stars have snuffed out their talented light, with simple pain killers, or antidepressants. All doctors prescriptions, It's all crazy anyway, isn't it. Where does all this gossip come from. How did we get it all so wrong. Still it's not just gossip is it, it's actual stars...dead. That's not good, we can't afford to lose talented people, nice people. Who is protecting the nice people anyway, the vulnerable, the children. If it's not the doctors, the police, if we can't even trust the food manufactures.

          Dare I think about food, an overweight nation, an over weight world. Ohhhh, what about pollution....we are to blame, we are to blame for everything apparently. The use of fossil fuels, global warming, or politicians taking kick backs to say that how it is. Just big business. Or, we are not to blame, natural, some say. Are we using too much water, or, are we drowning in floods, or snow storms. The coldest winter in decades, America colder than the Antarctic? Who's to blame for that? Someone must be. Last year, it was England with an eight month winter..snow at Easter, crazy. What about conservation, what about food. Full fat, no fat, adding too much sugar if they take the fat out, eight spoons of sugar in a can of drink. Surely not, who would make drinks that way, then sell them? To people, to children, sugar in everything, in processed food, in bread, in savoury things. How come? It's not right is it.

           No wonder we keep trying diets, soup diet, cabbage diet, crazy diet ideas. Eat less, excercise more. No, don't diet without excercise, running, cross training, swimming, cardio this, cardio that. Training shoes, for running, for walking, for the gym, gotta be the right ones. Gymns springing up everywhere, getting people fit again is big business. I wonder at what point the government will step in, and dictate what excercise you must do, and how much it will cost you. Carrot, and the stick, always.

           Ok, it's a lot to sort out, a lot to take in, and even more to understand. Do you understand this world today. Sometimes I think I do, which is a bit scary on its own, isn't it? That I think I understand all of this nuttiness, is worrying.

         You know, I think I've cracked it, don't try to make sense of it. Not this modern world. Decide which little bit you can work with, maybe just this week, or this month. Then don't worry about the rest. Work on your little bit, feel good about your small goals, or your big ones. Be kind to those you love, smile at people you meet, and be loyal to those who deserve it.

          Look at the beauty in this world, ignore all the crazies. 

          Love.....

          Love you all, why not?

           

When the sun shines...so does your heart

             Today, despite it being January in the northern hemisphere, and in the midst of weeks of all sorts of gales, bitter winds, and general winter weather. The sun is shining, and the temperature, between gales, and storms, is moderate. Sitting inside the big picture window, of one of my favourite cafes, it's positively summery. Ahhh, how the sight, and feel of the sun changes everything.

              I don't think they recognise it here, in England, but in New Zealand, (and probably Australia), people often suffer from a condition they call SAD. It's supposedly caused by lack of sunshine, and dull, or dark days. Something I can understand only too well. Although it is a Southern Hemisphere condition, apparently. Where it causes depression, and other associated problems to large numbers of people, every year. I can't imagine they would not recognise it here, but I have not heard of it. Or, of anyone complaining of it. It's silly really, because we have more dark days, lack of sunshine, and generally longer winters, than they do. So, the truth is, that we have plenty to complain about in terms of lack of light, and sun. Or, as it seems permissible to do, to become depressed about, as they do abroad.

               Mind you, complaining is something we, the English, perhaps I should say the British, are good at. During the years I lived in Australia, I often heard tell of whinging poms. Which, did embarrass me a little. As in 'another whinging pom'. The name, POM, the Aussies especially, call the British. They assert it's a friendly overture, no insult intended. My Father, who lived there too, used to get extremely irritated by the epithet. POM, of course, stands for 'Prisoner Of Mother (England)'. Which, of course, is not the British person today, but those ancestors of present day Australians. Those men, and women, sent out originally as prisoners, from English goals. Condemned from England for terms of seven years, to life. It was in fact, a clear case of the pot, calling the kettle black. A fact, my father, a 'died in the wool' Londerer, was quick to point out. Which of course, just singled him out as another whinging pom! It was an argument he couldn't win, as most used it without thought, or probably, malice.

               As for the whinging bit, well as. I said, we, as a race, are good at complaining. The old establishment figures, complaining about the old establishment. The old guys, especially, (and ladies, not to be sexist), are prolific letter writers to newspapers, and such. Only look at 'The Times', or 'The Guardian' newspapers, letter pages. In fact, the older I get, the more I feel the urge to write, and complain about untenable situations building! Or, perhaps I'm diverting in right now, into the modern form, A Blog. Or, complain even the everyday things, those that get the steam coming out of my ears. Why not, indeed, if it's something you have to deal with on an almost daily basis, why should you swallow it without complaint. How do things ever change if you don't complain, if you don't say what's wrong. Therefore, as I said, we really are very good at, or perhaps, just habitual complainers.

               Returning to the subject of the sun, and how pleasant it is, brings home to me how wonderful it is to live somewhere where the sun shines more often, and is in general, hotter. A condition, or should I say situation, I am putting my energy into changing right now. No one is forced to stay in a cold country, not if they don't enjoy it. Hense my plans for moving to a warmer climate. Although, if you cannot organise that in your life, then what do you do? Either suffer from SAD, or complain, it seems.

               It also gives me the idea of why we perhaps don't suffer from the condition of SAD, as the Southern Hemisphere admits to. After all, we are lucky if we get four hours of full daylight a day, in mid winter. With the lack of warmth from the sun, even worse. It sounds to me, as if this lack of light, and/or sun builds up, until it becomes a physical, or mental health problem to people effected. Something they, we are told, need help dealing with. Perhaps the reason we (the English) don't suffer, or I have not heard of it. Is because we DO complain. Instead of letting things build up, and become problematic, we have a good moan. Letting off steam, if you will. I know it helps me, although it's a habit, I am trying to break.

               That's a good theory isn't, it solves the problem of why we complain so much..so others say. Also explaining why we don't get too depressed about our abominable weather. Which, has to be a good thing, doesn't it?

             As for the complaining, or the moaning, it is mainly a habit, it's not because we are an unhappy race, or angry. It's like a barking dog, it makes lots of noise, but does little harm.

             Except, maybe, for being annoying...oops, sorry about that everyone.

             At least we are not on antidepressants for the weather, and lack of sun! Or, the present figures, at least are not further inflated.

             VIVA LA SUN!

                

               

it's the season...of colds & flu

           Did you have your flu jab? I did, but here I am, struggling with the germs that somehow found me. Looking at it in a positive light, I have to say, perhaps without the jab, I would have been a lot worse, wouldn't I? As it is I've just had my third night of coughing, and spluttering, earaches, and sore throat. Oh joy...to the world, and to me too, please. As it does nothing for my mood, and I hate having ear ache, well, who wouldn't. As for the sore throat, you can't swallow, dry coughing stops you sleeping well, as you toss, and turn. It does get rather wearying, dealing with pain of any kind. Doesn't it make you think about how hard it must be, for those people who have pain to deal with on a daily basis. I mean, unremitting pain.

           Even something as simple as ear ache is not nice. Anything causing pain in your head is difficult, now since last night, my eyes are streaming too. That, in my book, is a double whammy. The pain in my ears, and throat has now migrated to my eyes... why? This, of course, complicates everything, as I can't see clearly now. It's a bit like crying non, stop, until your eyes close, swell, and shine redly....mmm, done a bit of that too, in my life, ah well. So, sigh, its all such a bore, and a drag. Do those two words sum it up, do you think? Anything, which a makes your life more difficult is unwanted anyway. Also, unnecessary right now, when I have the dark days, and cold to deal with too. I shall have to work at being healthy again, very quickly, before I lose the will to care. 

           I remember the first bout of ear ache I ever had. I was about eight years old, maybe even seven. When first struck with this pain in the head...got? Anyway, it was a major for me at that time. I must have been quite poorly, as I not only stayed off school, but had to stay in bed for what seemed like weeks. This was in the Summer too, as. I remember, light, long days, that I wasn't enjoying. Although I expect it was one, or two weeks marooned in that bedroom, at the most. 

           Of course, I was staying at my grandparents house, the place I choose to be, if ever given the option. Lots of time, I don't think I had the option anyway, I was just left there, which was fine by me. Having lived there for the first four, or five years of my life, I suppose it felt more like home to me. The doctor was coming to see me nearly every day. He was a tall, thin, dark man, very dour, and serious, bending over the bed, as my grandmother looked on. I got bought a big box, of some sort by my Auntie, and Uncle, who had no children of their own. They never missed a special occasion. Whether birthdays, bonfire nights, or anything else. I don't remember what the present was, except, it was a flat box, and had lots of little sections in it. It could have been some sort of art, or craft set, as I was always drawing. I remember sorting it out, checking what was in all the little sections. Although really, the excitement was in 'getting' a present unexpectedly. I don't think I played with it much, I think I must have slept a lot during that time.

           I had ear aches every year after that, in fact. I remember my ears were always a problem. They still are, when ever I get any kind of infection. When I had earaches in the past, my grandmother, always encouraged me to curl up in the big armchair, on granddads side of the hearth. She would then hold a soft, folded cloth, near the open fire, and then give it to me to hold to my ear. It was bliss, having heat on the painful ache. Still today, so many years later, the warmth of a heating pack, does more than anything else, to help me feel better, and to relax.

           It's funny how pain becomes associated with certain people isn't it. Also with the place it happened to you. You can see how childhood incidents become traumatic to a child, so firmly entrenched in their past as they are. So deeply buried, and part of you, as they must be. Perhaps everyone has such memories of childhood, I know I have a lot. Not all are good, but always the ones associated with my Grandparents were happy, and pleasant, so I am lucky. Not all children are so fortunate in their family.

          Ahh, always give thanks for the wonderful things in your life. I believe, the more you concentrate on the good things in your life, the more things of that type, are drawn to you. Now, while thinking of the past, is a good time to give thanks for having a wonderful family. To just dismiss, and forget those that were not.

          Thank you for my wonderful grandparents, and other family around me, now. May I continue to be blessed with such people in my life.

           As I wish for you all.