Losing days..

         This week, I lost a day. What a muddle it caused. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, but it's the truth. A task supposed to be done on Sunday, had to be cancelled until Monday. making Sunday, a bit of a wasted day. Then, on the Monday, had to fit in swimming early, instead of later. This was the only way not to miss it completely. Early rather goes against the grain with me, I am not a good, morning person. My aches, and pains, and often disturbed sleep means I am often tired. Feeling rather 'hung over', without the benefit of the booze that normally accompanies such a feeling. A slower, gentler start to the day, works much better for me. Therefore, I was not best pleased.

         After, my preferred exercise of swimming, down at the local leisure centre, I finally, got into the car, and went off to see to the job in hand. This, unfortunately involved quite a drive. Going there, and back, took the greater part of the day. Finally, returning home late, having bought take away at mothers, and prepared for bed. Except by then, I wasn't feeling too well. I had called in on my Mothers earlier, on the way home. Where, she really put the pressure on me to stay the night. This, on the best of days, is very headache inducing, but was just too much for me that day.  I really couldn't stay, just like that. I had no nightclothes, no meds, none of things that gets me through the often, difficult night. 

           However, as she still sees me as the, I suppose, 'much younger daughter,' it never occurs to her, that there might be something wrong with me. That I may be anything other, than in rude health. It does not matter how often I try to explain to her. I only get a look of great surprise, and you must be kidding me expression. Sometimes, a 'well they must be able to do something about it' comment. She assumes, I am always capable of running around, and filling in all the gaps for her....if only it were true.      

           Of course, instead of what she expects of me, I am often not as fit as I would like.This tussle, between my plans, and her plans that night, was a added strain. This week is really being difficult! Never mind, I stopped with her øas long as I could, until almost her bedtime.

         At home, I began to feel queasy, and hot, overall, a bit shaky. Once in bed, I hoped it would pass, but no. I felt really sick, as if was coming down with food poisoning, a familiar, and unpleasant symptom of M.E. These bouts always hit fast, and knock me out of action for a couple of days. I did not sleep well, although, a full blown attack did not happen.  It was a long, and uncomfortable night, nauseous, and restless. The next day, I struggled through, doing my planned Monday things ( but of course, it was already tuesday). Again, after eating something that night, the nausea began again. This time, it hit me hard, and I crawled into bed early. Vowing never to eat again, I went through the whole gamut of the shakes, sweats, toilet, bucket by the bed for hour, after hour. As usual, it felt as if I were dying. By early hours of the morning it abated a little, and I had to sit up for a while. I finally dozed for an hour or two, about five o clock.

         The next morning, obviously, I did not want to get up at all. But I had promised mother to drop in before Wednesday. Regardless, you must keep your routine running, or days turn into night before you know it.  Wednesday, was the night I promised her I would stay again. So popping in that afternoon, I kept talking at cross purposes with her, I didn't understand her references, she kept shaking her head at me. I was too tired to work it out. Just focus, I though, you can get through this.  In between lying down, I made her cups of tea, whist she blasted me with the tv. She is very deaf. I then saw an ad for a series I was trying to watch." It's ok she said, you can see it here," I was confused. I am staying at a variety of homes this last few months, I thought. Jeez, they have changed the night. Now what, does she want me to stay tonight as well? Then the light began to filter through my numb brain, it's Wednesday, is it really Wednesday? Really not Tuesday?

            Oh yes, not Tuesday as I thought all day, but Wednesday. Stuff I planned to do today, will now have to be done tomorrow. I had to return to my temporary home, pack my stuff, and come back to sleep the night. Oh no, how did I lose day? I felt quite discombobulated, and a bit dumb.

          Now, I have two conflicting places to be tomorrow, plus I cancelled mums afternoon lady, promising to take her out, that's three jobs all at the same time. Rather defeated, thinking how I can reorganise tomorrow, I finally go to bed. Still feeling rather delicate, but so much better than the previous night. I can only sigh with relief. One good thing about being ill, you are really grateful for the days you feel well. 

          I should be grateful for small mercies. But, how on earth I can sort out tomorrow's mess, I do not know. I shall have to be on the phone early, trying to reorganise something. Because come a week tomorrow, there is a vital plane I must be on. Come hell, or high water! So much to do before then.

             I tell you, losing a day, is not a clever idea.....

              Oh no! I was supposed to swim on Wednesday too, O.K. that's well, and truly gone, I can't possibly fit that in tomorrow as well. This whole week is just getting away with me...

              What a mess, losing track of the days is....