Away

And not with the faries.
Had a sort of holiday. Sorting out stuff abroad. My mother, nearly ninety, is doing extremely well. Strength to her. Could be she outlives me.well done her.
I caught up with all my friends. One of whom is struggling to care for both her poorly parents. Strength to her.
My brother badly needs a career change. Strength to him.
Coming back here my daughter is struggling to change her life, its hard. Strength to her.
In fact, strength to you all, and to me too.

More frustrations

Internet connections on my iPad are continuing to be flaky and extremely annoying.
It seems to work for a short while when I first connect, then becomes stuck.
However, that can't stop me reading and writing. Only communicating . As. Gemini, and of course a writer, I must
(we must) communicate.
I read a wonderful bookmarking of angels and life and lessons learned. This book fitted in directly with the secret. A book it pays to keep perusing.
The secret is a book on the universe and its secrets of how to achieve anything you want. anything at all.
Telling how we do not have to labour without, only to believe in our own power. Abundance of all good things is ours if we only ask for what we want and say thanks as if we already have it.
I am using it to add abundance to my life.
The secret. By Rhonda Byrne.

Frustrations

I love all the techno wiz stuff, but when it refuses to play the game, it drives me mad. It's refusing to let me in twitter, letting me see emails but unable to reply. Arggggg.
By now, I am climbing the wall.
Must recoup, recalibrate and expect a different result. Its only me, blocking me.
I create my own reality.
Therefore I can make everything work....
Trying again now

Missing posts

Where do missing posts go?
I have nothing here for end may and early June and I wrote them.
The problem is, did not, could not post them by usual connections as I was on the move and overseas.
They must be somewhere. I shall search.....

New Zealand

Here I am again back in NZ
Having had exhaustion on top of jet lag for the last week has meant no time or energy to sort out Internet connections.
Finally, I am on line in a coffee shop. Hurray!
The lack of hotmail, gmail, twitter and blogs has been major. How did we manage before? It has been a long, boring and frustrating week.
I am dreaming strange dreams, which sooner or later will find their way into a story, or become a story. Set in a precious century probably eighteenth and full of drugs and dark drinking places, frequented by men only. Searching for my brother, injured and hidden by men. Wanted for crimes he would have been incapable of, requiring medical aid. Scary stuff of a woman in a mans world. Well we all know about that to some extent.
Writing some of my short story and recording dreams where I can.
All grist for the mill at some point.
The iPad makes writing easy as far as location goes but the writing programme is poor, very basic.
A better program is needed, and sooner rather than later.
Word for iPad......where is it????

Lack of writing

Lack is the right word, not to be able to write is a real loss.
Yesterday and today, I have  not been well enough to write anything. No tweets, no emails, no blog and certainly no book or story work.
I feel as if something intrinsic is missing. That I am incomplete, as indeed I am without that expression of my self.
Roll on good health.

Writing long or short stories

Editing a long story, after writing so many words,  is a major undertaking.
Therefore when I feel I cannot  continue ploughing through any more pages. I revert to short stories.
This last time I turned to writing a children's story. It evolved from a dream, one of many I had.
I dream fantastical, epic dreams. often continuing a dream from one night to the next.
I relish and enjoy dreaming. I write them down as I wake so not to lose them. Which is how I re discovered the one I turned into a children story.
It is about a lion who lives in a house and the problems that causes.
I enjoyed writing it very much, it was so easy, after trying to fight my way through a long book.
It's strange, I have forced myself to avoid writing for children. Wanting to write something more serious.
Ah well, what will be will be.

Confusion reigns

What a day. Everything has been so screwed up. It's enough to drive you crazy.
On top of that I have temporarily deserted the editing of the HIDDEN to write another story. A sort of romance on the iPad. I am hoping it will be refreshing.
So far 6000 words in a couple of days. Just the bare bones, so, may have to flesh it out later.
Enjoying it so far.
This one calledNever Again.

Reading

Always a voracious reader, it is fundamental to my writing.
I dwell in never land, whenever I possibly can.
I want to think imaginativly, read fantasy and interactionand, write about anything which stirs me.
A wonderful asset for a mystery writer, especially of the supernatural, is to be able to think laterally. Then you are never without a twist or a solution to a story.
Fantasise and imagine......
Have no factual boundries....

Writing/editing

How long it takes to edit your book.
I must have re-edited those first six/eight chapters a dozen times. I only hope each time is improving them, not annihilating them.
The balance of each sentence, not repeating your story, improving the thrust of the story line. On and on. Hours, weeks and months of work. How can you speed this up...?
Arrrggg
And, should you....?

Complications

Of all sorts, I have had a week of recurring M.E. or exhaustion syndome symptoms. This is something I have had since about 2004 and I have attacks on a regular basis. I never know from one day to the next which ailments I will wake with.
This means flu like symptoms, pain in limbs, headaches, nausea, and often gastric symptoms too. Exhaustion can be severe, I can be bed  ridden for part if, or several days. In addition, I have periods of  confusion and stress. Also stressful situations cause attacks, which means its wise to live quietly.
This week, I had the attack, with severe exhaustion, lost all my cards, everything you imagine together in a wallet, during the bank holiday. And had a stressful visitor.
Tomorrow, I go the bank and hope my cards have been handed in. I hope I sleep tonight, another bad symptom.
Over all, trying to keep my positive outlook, keep upbeat.
Wish me luck. Xxx

Upset

Uncomfortable, my food does not agree with me, cannot sleep and feet are burning.
What to do?
Even this is proving difficult as I want/ need to thrash around.
No chance of writing proper. I must sleep somehow.
I vow I will give up eating anything larger than an orange.
It's strange, books are full of traumas, but seldom to do with digestion. Yet this us perhaps the most constant of all  our bodily functions.
Too much information I know, but mine never let's me forget what stage its at.
Hunger, digestion or elimination. That's without the related shopping, preparing, cleaning up and rubish removal.
Speaking of which.....I feel ill

A week of writing

After a couple of months of little output, where nothing was easy, concentration nil, now all is well.
Words flow, even editing is flowing seamlessly, I am on a roll. Padding, cutting, refining, all easy.
Cannot tear myself away from the keyboard, morning, noon, or night.
Yeahhhh
I CAN do this, I am not stuffed with cotton wool after all...

The London marathon

It's strange how something I have.never taken part in stirs so many memories.
The times, when my father was alive, the marathon going past his house. The fun we had recognising people like jimmy saville, the crazy costumes of the charity runners, my son plowed past for a few years. Then everything changed, my parents moved to Australia with my  brother, my other one went to new Zealand, I to America and later around the world several times.
The world shrinks but the marathon brings back mote settled times and our connections to London.
Ahhh, happy days.
Miss you dad, miss you brother terry, but you are with me forever.

Why?

Why do agencies, such a public art galleries invest our (the people's) money in art not worthy of the name.
Today in the Tate I saw nylon tights stuffed with wire and other materials, curved into piles to resemble a shape between a large poo and a Willie twisted around malformed legs, piles of crumpled paper painted in pastel colours, and various paterns and scribbles a dog could have managed. The exhibits scattered around four rooms were proudly hailed as purchased of work by modern artists.
Any self respecting dustman would have carted them away as rubbish.
I wonder how much money was wasted on that lot.
WHY does no one ask US what to buy?
What sort of trip are these people on...

Rain, rain go away

Yes, I know, we need it. I don't Linc if its warm as well, it can rain but this chill wind is dreadful.
Tried to write in my hibernation but tired.
After a night of little sleep I could not concentrate. Laboured over sentence structure and got nowhere fast.
Oh dear

Out of tune?

Sometimes you feel out of tune with the world
at others like now, everything is in sinc.
Mood is a funny thing, I am so happy. The world seems right.
I feel on the brink of a tremendous breakthrough.
Possibly with my writing or story line, or more likely my whole life changing for the better.
Bring it on....

Away from home

Off to the seaside, wellll...the weather fooled us good and proper. There we were, thinking we were off for some fun which indeed we did briefly have. Then, the cold bit and bit us hard. We were no longer laughing..
Much, much later and after many hours of abject suffering in a house facing the fury of the windy sea. A house partially open to the elements, no double glazing or proper insulation we are beaten.
Bring forth the morning, some more sun to lull us and a car with a full tank to carry us swiftly back to London and a warm house.

Busy days,

So hectic with all sorts lately I never get enough editing and polishing of my book 'the hidden' done.
I know I should be pushing on and that it needs to be finished if I am ever to publish.
The slog of staying with it is hard.
I must work harder.

Night

Late night, strange and unsettled. What awaits you in the dark of the night? You will not know until it strikes you, will it be disconcerting or illuminating, enervating or fatal...
You will feel it already, whether you realise it or not, it is closing in on you.
A chill brushes your psyche and your blood slows. Swuuch, Swuuch, sluggishly through your veins.
DANGER
Adrenalin floods your limbs, but you have forgotten how to run, a step, two, but still you hesitate...
Too late, what you felt is there before you, more dreadful than you could possibly imagine. Your chance to escape is gone, you can only stand and await your fate...

Grist for the mill

Everything you see is going to come out again sooner or later.
Todays experience, winding through road works trying to find harbour embarkation dock in Greenwich.
On the boat, seeing historic landmarks. The tower, the eye, now sitting on a restaurant boat, watching people walking along the south bank .thek as if they are part if a lowrie painting but in summer colours.
The .food, what there was.of.it is nouvel quisine. Big fancy plate holding cheese and chutney of no more than 150 calories. Ha ha. My daughter and I who have not eaten all day, its now 4 pm are going off to search out the main course.
We hope

Dreaming

Dreaming so much lately, and sunny, busy days. Several days and nothing at all written. Don't know why, something in that combination has made me hit a wall.
Can't even touch the laptop, nothing running through my mind as usual.
Perplexing to say the least.
Hope it clears quickly.

Sunny days

Sunny days and .bills.
I think the council tax is so unfair.
So much money it feels like blackmail. How the British public swallowed poll tax under another name is incomprehemsible.
Bastards.
England is a strange and difficult place to live.
Is it worth it .no.
Only, my children are here.
I have lived in America, Australia and New Zealand. All are so much more pleasant and enjoyable.
Get real U.K. and begin taking care of your people.

Demoralised

<p>By the fact no one seems able to find me. Must be doing something wrong.not advertised or something.
I keep writing and am keen but how do you find out what to do.???

Sunday writing

With family obligations on Sunday, writing is more difficult. Although time with almost any family is wonderful. Today, Sunday lunch in the O.2. Greenwich was great. Girl time alone.
Now, several hours later, its back to writing. Ahhhh. So much to do and I seem so slow. Hopefully, as they day 'slowly, slowly, catch we monkey.
I enjoy cutting and rewriting to something better.

Twitter

Had a nice little disagrement about humour and rudeness on Twitter.
I do like the diversity of the exchanges possible.

Editing

Editing, wet days, dry days, hot or cold I and the laptop continue together. Cutting drastically, condense for the better.
It's quite fascinating

Bugs

Bugs abound. Everyone around me is down with something. They just go round and round again.
Very unpleasant and debilitating. Writing is slowed down but I don't stop. Can't stop.
Heavy editing, ruthless cutting of word count. Sometimes I wonder how long this can go on.
Indefinitely? No.
For  some time yet? Yes.

M.E.

Not terminal, but exhausting and painful and very very frustrating.
Another few days struggling but coming through again.
Yippee.
Don't waste a second of the good times.

Decorating

Had my girl team in for a few days now. Half the house done.
But writing...lots done, did not miss a day. But its lost somewhere. Did not save to memory stick, only saved shortcut. Now I can't find all my work.
Big disaster.
BIG disaster

Decorating

Having the place decorated, constant headaches. Despite only doing walls so far and able to have doors open. One room done five to.go. oh dear.

National health

After living out of the U.K. for over 20 years I think the national health is crap.
You wait, wait, wait.you get squeezed into generic cheaper medicines and in many situations treated like you should be grateful for any kind of attention. You are the very poor relation. It's a high price to pay in terms of health care and well being.
There really is very.little worth saving.
Especially reading today how doctors are charging billions for non existant patients.
Is no one honest any more?

Words..fantasy

What a word spell that one is. Carrying you straight off into a wonderful land where anything is possible and dreams do come true.
An adventure everytime.

Dreams

I love to dream. Every night a complex story. Magical places, often a leader or teacher of communes.
Birds or people to care for, rugged coastline preparing for safety.some struggles but never alone.
It is fascinating to keep a dream dairy. Such diverse adventures.

Good cruisy day

Had a cruisy day, no cooking, a bit of tv, a bit of Twitter, blogging and writing. Now having cup of tea with in laws. A lovely, lively bunch. That will wake me up. Nice

Editing drives me crazy

Because I constantly mess with the prose and the story Adding, subtracting turning it all inside out and upside down.
I will never finish, its much worse than deciding when to stop a painting

Words.serendipity

It has a.flow, a music to it.
It's more than chance, better than luck and coincidence together, better organized than fortune.
It is more a combination of chance and destiny
A word with gentle power.

Houses, home and real estate

So much going on in our family. Houses selling, house purchase, renting problems. Inability to move, broken families, marriages.
Why don't things slow down for a bit
My head is spinning.
I have enough stuff going on around me to write books without end. Family and friend are doing things you could not imagine......help...

Hoping for another good one

After yesterday, I am excited about lots more writing today. Fingers crossed.
I shall soon be finished the editing at this rate. Yipee. Couple of three weeks  maybe.

A good writing day

Despite many interuptions, I had a brilliant day of writing. Edited nearly three chapters before running out of steam.
A direct result of feeling better.even though I go to bed  tonight aching from many mock attacks and dives by my 4 year old grandson. I loved it until I felt in real fear for my fragile joints. No one understands, my daughter in law said, ahhh children are hard work, I tell dean all the time.
Sorry dear, I have different problems to weariness. But what's the point...
Still I had a REAL writers day.
Hurah

Writing and stuff

Or stuff writing.
I don't really mean that but ....I wish, I wish, I wish.
I know I can't stop writing now I 've begun. Could not ever find time before I became ill. Now, out of the ratrace I am so lucky to have the time. but I wish I still had the health to do it with less pain and more energy.
Just can't please some people.

Up late for me

I think I must be getting better again. It's half past ten at night and I am still awake and dressed. Yippee.
A toast to good health. May we all enjoy plenty.

Getting cold

After being up to 8
Temp is now dropping rapidly.
Brrrrr
Writing in bits and pieces, flowing still even.though its.still editing.
Will it ever end.
I do feel painfully slow.

Can see the O 2 dome

In Greenwich, London from here. It makes my heart sing to see it, I just love it.
Who ever wad it who wanted it destroyed a few years back. Crazy people. Got to cherish everything beautiful.
Ok not so beautiful inside but it serves a function and its iconic appearance serves the area well.
Ahhhh

'Ain't life grand' gripe-energy.

Or rather, the lack of it.
Such a day has been mine.
Gone from bed to couch, from sitting to laying, to napping, and in the dressing gown all day.
Oh dear so tired but better tomorrow.
I hope.

Still living ha ha

Trying to do a few on line jobs. Arrrg
How many times will I get offers for being the big winner. Then, it will not let me go either backwards or forwards.
Why can't other links be as good at maintainings limks.

Trying to write

But dizyness defeats me.another attack.
I get so frustrated, tired of feeling ill, tired of it holding me back and more than tired of moaning about it.
Ho hum.
How to get out of this pattern of frustration.
Be positive, at least I am not dying.
Give me strength

Frustrating illness.

Under the weather again. M.E.
Sick, dizzy and headache. Sometimes its so like flu its uncanny.
I am not a good patient. Just as well i am on my own most of the time. I would be a pain to live with. Hope I can write later. Give it a bit of time to be manageable. Uggg. Droopy

Words .... bemused

That's the word interesting me today.
It's evocative and how I feel about life just at this second.
Soon I could be
Ecstatic

'Ain't life grand' gripe- service

Today, I have had one bad or rude service after another. It does happen in days.
Sales staff, pharmacy staff, each shrugging in offhand manner at requests or being our of stock, downright rude until coffee shop counter staff tear me off a strip for asking if they had newspapers.
At which stage, very politely, I bite back.
10 minutes later, the rude one actually came over and apologized.
Wowee. That's a result. Cheered me for the day.

Docs

Out and about today.doctor, shopping etc.
Got laptop with me so will find a little corner somewhere, have coffee and write for as many hours as I can.
I shall be a oblivious of all around me. Wonderful

2 nd busy day

Constantly losing things and rediscovering others complicates my day. A busy day is worse still with more of the same.
Well.....at least I don't get bored.

Tired but happy family

Tired after a busy family day. Got to walk, talk and eat together. Then played silly iPad and smart phone games, laughed and remembered the past while building nice memories  for the future.
Ahhh how lucky am I.

Saturday lunch

The air is raw at -4 in London but the sun is shining. The family is having lunch together later, as always I am so impatient for everyone to arrive.
I vascilate between. Reading, writing and napping in the warmth of the sun. Ho hum

Words. Lush

What an evocative word.
Just sink right into it. Luxuriate
LUSH. I love words

Late for me

Still up and awake as I am spellbound(isn't that a wonderful word) by being on line on my ipad2 now fired by hot spot on my smart phone. Amazing.... Technology, don't you just love it.

10 Feb longer session

Things are slowly improving. Just done a two hour session of re writing and editing. A good span for me with all my aches and pains.
On p.16 of 696 for the 12th or maybe 20th time.
Suddenly seems to be looking right.
Maybe I can get beyond chapter 12 this time. Fingers and toes crossed

Ain't life grand-opticians

Another year gone. Todays gripe(ain't life grand) checkup on eyes. Sight deteriorated bit more. Now need help for both long and short sight. Even with special offers I must pay £200.
Can't write and paint and keep my eye on everything with poor sight can I.
So, got to bite the bullet

Titanic

I lost a great uncle in the engine room of the titanic. William Moore. I can see the attraction- if this is for real. Ali keilly (Moore)
RT @noahgraham RT @terrinakamura: Seriously? "Titanic Memorial Cruise" sign up now: http://t.co/VbeRqgbd

Ain&apos;t life grand

Is about daily frustrations. This one is about trying to add things/extra to my blog. Huh. What a joke, lots of explanations of how to but no page that responds

Another day (without ) another dollar

Another day of editing....
I began the story of how I began writing this book.
never at a loss to make up stories, I put pen to paper, and it was paper and waited to see where it would go.
It went to the sixties, a period which resonates with many of us still. Even those who were not there the first time around.
I began. With a name... Maizy. It must popped into my mind, and let her go.
That's the way I have always written, letters, notes or essays, but never having attempted a book before I did not know if it would be enough.
More later.....

9 Feb

Not being able to sleep is good for social networking but bad for my exhaustion. Will have to read a bit now and hope I can drop off. Although it does mean I get to spot more of the rest of the world tweets so its not all bad

RT @PublishersLunch #plnws McAfee Says She Sold 145k 99-Cent eBooks Before Moving to NAL http://t.co/Vh87gL42

Evening 8 Feb

Tired all day after my full social day yesterday. Editing between the naps. Problematicle for getting real work done. Never mind, never give up.

How I began writing

In New Zealand on a visit to family, with time to spare I resolved to write a book. Like my art, something I put off for many years due to  pressure of work. Always imaginative, it still took me some time to make a serious start....

8 feb

After an unusually late night of birthday celebrations for my son, arriving home at 11pm. All I could manage was to crawl onto the couch, waking up several hours later, confused. Then followed a night in bed, sleeping like the dead until nearly 9 am.
Now, I must organize my stunned brain to write.

7th February.

My eldest son's birthday and Charles Dickens. It's his 200th anniversary. My son isn't that old. Ha ha

My nemesis

Writing is adictive, a force of nature, a necessity, an illness.
Put that together with a physical illness of M.E. my personal nemesis, then see me struggle.
Daily updates.

RT @doubledaypub "Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One..." http://t.co/5i6slsjO

RT @LPOBryan Help Give Away One Million Books - http://t.co/oQ6Q91U5