What scares you?

         Perhaps it depends on your age, and/or your experience? I say that, because I remember when I was much younger, I was often scared. As in terrified, when adrenalin would flood my body, making me shake, and the world faded from my eyes, as the blood drained from my head. It seems silly now, 

but I fainted a lot in those days. There were too many such times, when I had no idea what to do next. Feeling as if the world was about to fall on my head, so completely out of control, was I. It felt a little like being carried along, on the back of a wild, but ethereal, giant horse. Only just managing to hang on to the mane, with no saddle or anything else to cling to. So, far to fall, so little to help me stay on, it was a tough call. Maybe, those were the days when I 'expected' life to be tough, to be difficult.

          Well, you know what they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!. That must be what happened, because little frightens me now. I know what ever it is, you just do the best you can, follow through, and it will work out somehow. I have been lucky too. But then, I learnt a long time ago, that luck actually is......

           Labouring, Under, Correct, Knowledge. L.U.C.K. In other words, find out all you can about the situation, then you can make the best decision.

           Of course, I know who I am now. I have had lots of experience, and also know what I can cope with. I know I am strong, persistant, I don't give up easily, and I also expect different things. With all of those life problems, the only way to find out, what is the best way through... Just keep going. 

           If you read some of my earlier blogs, you know I believe in 'creating your own reality'. Stop expecting disasters, in fact, expect good luck, expect good opportunities. It takes a bit of practice, but then so does everything, you don't get to drive a car, without practice. Or even do your hair, or be good at your job, pass exams. Whatever, it all takes practice. 

           What started me off on this topic, I was talking to a young girl on twitter, who had experienced a nasty fright. Just something a man said, and did as she passed. A nasty habit of some men, unfortunately. He perhaps, thought he was being terrible clever, smooth, whatever. Or, perhaps he knew exactly what he was doing! It's not right though, never ok to frighten someone. I wanted to give her something, a small strength she could build on, so that she gets over being scared as easily.       

          Being vulnerable is not empowering, in fact, its the opposite. I found that acting brave, often leaks through, and makes you braver, a little braver every time. Don't slouch along, looking nervous. Walk tall, act confidently, don't take chances, of course, but don't expect trouble either. Take up meditation, it's great at helping you find your inner you, the real you. The person you can be, the person you were meant to be. When you're young, there is so much to discover...mostly about yourself. Approach it with excitement, with confidence. With each step you take, you will grow stronger, tremble less. 

            Believe me. I know, I have been there. Been in some scary situations too, but never had anything dreadful happen. Of course, you lose people, or jobs, or money, or sometimes your health. Every one of those things, must be faced, must be dealt with. Don't let the world knock you down, don't let it scare you so you don't try again.

            Think brave, act brave, and you will become brave. Laugh at stupid people, like that man. Who does he think he is? It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you! It's what you think of yourself that's important. So ...if you have to, if you're not sure, say every day, into the mirror, I am worthwhile, I am confident. I am beautiful, I am successful, I am happy.....and, frankly, anything else you want to be, or to feel. It doesn't matter whether you are fourteen, or forty...or older.

            I guarantee, it WILL work. Stick to it, and enjoy the changes.

            Be strong, and happy out there.

             Believe in yourself!

         

         

Getting fit........or driving yourself crazy? Or, is the world crazy anyhow.

         We all want to be as healthy as possibly, don't we. I'm not sure that we all put enough effort into making it so, though. Or know the best way to do it all. Well, it's all very confusing. It's not as if there are strict guidelines. A regime you can stick to, or else fail. Nothing at all that simple. Oh no, the rules are fluid, they change with the wind. Every day a new discovery, so they say. Genetics, is it the key to everything? Every time you open the paper it says don't do that! Do this. No matter that the day before, they told you the opposite.

         Every time you pick up a newspaper, or magazine, there are all sorts of articles about health in there. Giving you the recipe for the perfect diet, the perfect intake of this or that. You have to look at your diet, your weight, your food, and vitamin intake. Then, whether to be vegetarian, or white/lean meat only, or eat what you like, maybe a full out carnivore. Do you drink alcohol? Or no alcohol. Do you drink a little? Surely, a little is good for you? Or, Is it good for you, not good for you, I can't remember now, what did it say? Water, yes, what about water, some water, six pints of waters daily, spa water, tap water. Fizzy drinks, non fizzy drinks. Then, what about sugar, no sugar, fruit sugar, honey....honey yes, that's got to be it. Natural is good isn't it. Or, is that out if date now?

        What about stimulants, no coffee, no tea, no coca cola, no alcohol, some alcohol. Drugs, have you ever touched those? Now we are getting to the bigger questions, the serious stuff. Or, are they, it all seems to be important when you read the articles. Have you tried Wacky baccy, sorry, marijuana, or class A drugs, or none. Is there something in between...ahh I know Ketamine, that's the latest. I know, I know, I watch the the TV. programs. It takes a lot of keeping up with. I get confused that's for sure. Perhaps it's only prescription medication that's bad for you. Doctors doping us all up on antidepressants, or even giving out too many antibiotics. They say they don't work anymore. What about super nits? Hey? Who wants them...stratch stratch. 

        No, doctors have it wrong don't they, giving out drugs, willy nilly. Then, whether they want to do it right or not, there are restrictions on how long we can stay in their office....crazy, targets. It's all about targets with the police too. Solve this many crimes, does it have to be the right people arrested, or will anyone do? How can people be reduced to bare numbers on a sheet. That can't be right. Especially with the doctors, you're vulnerable if you're ill, or your child is ill. Really crazy, how long we must wait to get even get into their surgery at all. How many patients they have, how rich are they getting...oh, and dentists...they are the WORST, so I read...oh there's a lot of dodgy stuff going on there it seems. At least, if the papers are to be believed. Is it all about profit, big business. Prescription drugs are actually the worst, are they though? Maybe? Who knows! How am I to know any more. Maybe we are just all eating ourselves to death, if not over eating, then with additives in our food we know nothing about. So, it doesn't matter. 

         Such an avalanche of information, and accusations flying about. They can certainly be just as bad I hear, how many stars have snuffed out their talented light, with simple pain killers, or antidepressants. All doctors prescriptions, It's all crazy anyway, isn't it. Where does all this gossip come from. How did we get it all so wrong. Still it's not just gossip is it, it's actual stars...dead. That's not good, we can't afford to lose talented people, nice people. Who is protecting the nice people anyway, the vulnerable, the children. If it's not the doctors, the police, if we can't even trust the food manufactures.

          Dare I think about food, an overweight nation, an over weight world. Ohhhh, what about pollution....we are to blame, we are to blame for everything apparently. The use of fossil fuels, global warming, or politicians taking kick backs to say that how it is. Just big business. Or, we are not to blame, natural, some say. Are we using too much water, or, are we drowning in floods, or snow storms. The coldest winter in decades, America colder than the Antarctic? Who's to blame for that? Someone must be. Last year, it was England with an eight month winter..snow at Easter, crazy. What about conservation, what about food. Full fat, no fat, adding too much sugar if they take the fat out, eight spoons of sugar in a can of drink. Surely not, who would make drinks that way, then sell them? To people, to children, sugar in everything, in processed food, in bread, in savoury things. How come? It's not right is it.

           No wonder we keep trying diets, soup diet, cabbage diet, crazy diet ideas. Eat less, excercise more. No, don't diet without excercise, running, cross training, swimming, cardio this, cardio that. Training shoes, for running, for walking, for the gym, gotta be the right ones. Gymns springing up everywhere, getting people fit again is big business. I wonder at what point the government will step in, and dictate what excercise you must do, and how much it will cost you. Carrot, and the stick, always.

           Ok, it's a lot to sort out, a lot to take in, and even more to understand. Do you understand this world today. Sometimes I think I do, which is a bit scary on its own, isn't it? That I think I understand all of this nuttiness, is worrying.

         You know, I think I've cracked it, don't try to make sense of it. Not this modern world. Decide which little bit you can work with, maybe just this week, or this month. Then don't worry about the rest. Work on your little bit, feel good about your small goals, or your big ones. Be kind to those you love, smile at people you meet, and be loyal to those who deserve it.

          Look at the beauty in this world, ignore all the crazies. 

          Love.....

          Love you all, why not?

           

When the sun shines...so does your heart

             Today, despite it being January in the northern hemisphere, and in the midst of weeks of all sorts of gales, bitter winds, and general winter weather. The sun is shining, and the temperature, between gales, and storms, is moderate. Sitting inside the big picture window, of one of my favourite cafes, it's positively summery. Ahhh, how the sight, and feel of the sun changes everything.

              I don't think they recognise it here, in England, but in New Zealand, (and probably Australia), people often suffer from a condition they call SAD. It's supposedly caused by lack of sunshine, and dull, or dark days. Something I can understand only too well. Although it is a Southern Hemisphere condition, apparently. Where it causes depression, and other associated problems to large numbers of people, every year. I can't imagine they would not recognise it here, but I have not heard of it. Or, of anyone complaining of it. It's silly really, because we have more dark days, lack of sunshine, and generally longer winters, than they do. So, the truth is, that we have plenty to complain about in terms of lack of light, and sun. Or, as it seems permissible to do, to become depressed about, as they do abroad.

               Mind you, complaining is something we, the English, perhaps I should say the British, are good at. During the years I lived in Australia, I often heard tell of whinging poms. Which, did embarrass me a little. As in 'another whinging pom'. The name, POM, the Aussies especially, call the British. They assert it's a friendly overture, no insult intended. My Father, who lived there too, used to get extremely irritated by the epithet. POM, of course, stands for 'Prisoner Of Mother (England)'. Which, of course, is not the British person today, but those ancestors of present day Australians. Those men, and women, sent out originally as prisoners, from English goals. Condemned from England for terms of seven years, to life. It was in fact, a clear case of the pot, calling the kettle black. A fact, my father, a 'died in the wool' Londerer, was quick to point out. Which of course, just singled him out as another whinging pom! It was an argument he couldn't win, as most used it without thought, or probably, malice.

               As for the whinging bit, well as. I said, we, as a race, are good at complaining. The old establishment figures, complaining about the old establishment. The old guys, especially, (and ladies, not to be sexist), are prolific letter writers to newspapers, and such. Only look at 'The Times', or 'The Guardian' newspapers, letter pages. In fact, the older I get, the more I feel the urge to write, and complain about untenable situations building! Or, perhaps I'm diverting in right now, into the modern form, A Blog. Or, complain even the everyday things, those that get the steam coming out of my ears. Why not, indeed, if it's something you have to deal with on an almost daily basis, why should you swallow it without complaint. How do things ever change if you don't complain, if you don't say what's wrong. Therefore, as I said, we really are very good at, or perhaps, just habitual complainers.

               Returning to the subject of the sun, and how pleasant it is, brings home to me how wonderful it is to live somewhere where the sun shines more often, and is in general, hotter. A condition, or should I say situation, I am putting my energy into changing right now. No one is forced to stay in a cold country, not if they don't enjoy it. Hense my plans for moving to a warmer climate. Although, if you cannot organise that in your life, then what do you do? Either suffer from SAD, or complain, it seems.

               It also gives me the idea of why we perhaps don't suffer from the condition of SAD, as the Southern Hemisphere admits to. After all, we are lucky if we get four hours of full daylight a day, in mid winter. With the lack of warmth from the sun, even worse. It sounds to me, as if this lack of light, and/or sun builds up, until it becomes a physical, or mental health problem to people effected. Something they, we are told, need help dealing with. Perhaps the reason we (the English) don't suffer, or I have not heard of it. Is because we DO complain. Instead of letting things build up, and become problematic, we have a good moan. Letting off steam, if you will. I know it helps me, although it's a habit, I am trying to break.

               That's a good theory isn't, it solves the problem of why we complain so much..so others say. Also explaining why we don't get too depressed about our abominable weather. Which, has to be a good thing, doesn't it?

             As for the complaining, or the moaning, it is mainly a habit, it's not because we are an unhappy race, or angry. It's like a barking dog, it makes lots of noise, but does little harm.

             Except, maybe, for being annoying...oops, sorry about that everyone.

             At least we are not on antidepressants for the weather, and lack of sun! Or, the present figures, at least are not further inflated.

             VIVA LA SUN!

                

               

it's the season...of colds & flu

           Did you have your flu jab? I did, but here I am, struggling with the germs that somehow found me. Looking at it in a positive light, I have to say, perhaps without the jab, I would have been a lot worse, wouldn't I? As it is I've just had my third night of coughing, and spluttering, earaches, and sore throat. Oh joy...to the world, and to me too, please. As it does nothing for my mood, and I hate having ear ache, well, who wouldn't. As for the sore throat, you can't swallow, dry coughing stops you sleeping well, as you toss, and turn. It does get rather wearying, dealing with pain of any kind. Doesn't it make you think about how hard it must be, for those people who have pain to deal with on a daily basis. I mean, unremitting pain.

           Even something as simple as ear ache is not nice. Anything causing pain in your head is difficult, now since last night, my eyes are streaming too. That, in my book, is a double whammy. The pain in my ears, and throat has now migrated to my eyes... why? This, of course, complicates everything, as I can't see clearly now. It's a bit like crying non, stop, until your eyes close, swell, and shine redly....mmm, done a bit of that too, in my life, ah well. So, sigh, its all such a bore, and a drag. Do those two words sum it up, do you think? Anything, which a makes your life more difficult is unwanted anyway. Also, unnecessary right now, when I have the dark days, and cold to deal with too. I shall have to work at being healthy again, very quickly, before I lose the will to care. 

           I remember the first bout of ear ache I ever had. I was about eight years old, maybe even seven. When first struck with this pain in the head...got? Anyway, it was a major for me at that time. I must have been quite poorly, as I not only stayed off school, but had to stay in bed for what seemed like weeks. This was in the Summer too, as. I remember, light, long days, that I wasn't enjoying. Although I expect it was one, or two weeks marooned in that bedroom, at the most. 

           Of course, I was staying at my grandparents house, the place I choose to be, if ever given the option. Lots of time, I don't think I had the option anyway, I was just left there, which was fine by me. Having lived there for the first four, or five years of my life, I suppose it felt more like home to me. The doctor was coming to see me nearly every day. He was a tall, thin, dark man, very dour, and serious, bending over the bed, as my grandmother looked on. I got bought a big box, of some sort by my Auntie, and Uncle, who had no children of their own. They never missed a special occasion. Whether birthdays, bonfire nights, or anything else. I don't remember what the present was, except, it was a flat box, and had lots of little sections in it. It could have been some sort of art, or craft set, as I was always drawing. I remember sorting it out, checking what was in all the little sections. Although really, the excitement was in 'getting' a present unexpectedly. I don't think I played with it much, I think I must have slept a lot during that time.

           I had ear aches every year after that, in fact. I remember my ears were always a problem. They still are, when ever I get any kind of infection. When I had earaches in the past, my grandmother, always encouraged me to curl up in the big armchair, on granddads side of the hearth. She would then hold a soft, folded cloth, near the open fire, and then give it to me to hold to my ear. It was bliss, having heat on the painful ache. Still today, so many years later, the warmth of a heating pack, does more than anything else, to help me feel better, and to relax.

           It's funny how pain becomes associated with certain people isn't it. Also with the place it happened to you. You can see how childhood incidents become traumatic to a child, so firmly entrenched in their past as they are. So deeply buried, and part of you, as they must be. Perhaps everyone has such memories of childhood, I know I have a lot. Not all are good, but always the ones associated with my Grandparents were happy, and pleasant, so I am lucky. Not all children are so fortunate in their family.

          Ahh, always give thanks for the wonderful things in your life. I believe, the more you concentrate on the good things in your life, the more things of that type, are drawn to you. Now, while thinking of the past, is a good time to give thanks for having a wonderful family. To just dismiss, and forget those that were not.

          Thank you for my wonderful grandparents, and other family around me, now. May I continue to be blessed with such people in my life.

           As I wish for you all.

            

           

If at first, you don't succeed...never give up

        A good friend of mine, reminded me today, not to give up. It wasn't in relation to myself, or my own aims, but regarding someone close to me. Now, of course I speak those words all the time, never give up! It's part of my ethos for living, part of creating your own reality, of having a positive attitude to life. The thing to remember is, that saying, and living your beliefs, keeping your mindset clear, are two different things.That is because, we have many more bad habits than we realise. The old ones, still creep up on us.  It's far too easy to slip into old habits. Our small mind, our busy voice, tricks us into opting for the simplest reaction. 'Job done' it thinks, problem over. Happy that a problem has gone away.

          We do many things on 'automatic pilot', where we just do it, without paying real attention. Without thinking about our actions. You know, making the bed, walking around the supermarket, making a phone call, frighteningly, even driving the car. We have habits, things we have done so often before, that paying close attention, is not necessary. Our reactions to the situations, or people, around us, works exactly the same. We become engrossed in the same things, time, after time. Or, annoyed by the same things, the behaviour of others, or whatever it is, happening in our life. So, it's all too easy to react without thinking, in the way we always did.

           This is the exactly what I did, when confronted this week, with something happening close to me. It was a situation, in which I have tried so hard, to do the right thing. Something, that your busy brain, even your intelligence tells you is a waste of time. Although knowing how sending a difficult situation, or person love, can be...will be, eventually.... positive. It has to be, that's the way energy works. I have encouraged, and explained, and supported, throughout the last couple of years. In recent months, though,  it has become more, and more difficult for me. I have things going on in my own life (as we all do). Although I meant to continue doing my best, understanding what was behind the present behaviour. I knew they needed support, that they were in no position to cope as I hoped. Then, it happened again, and I just reacted. Whether I was at the end of my tether, or whether I really just unthinkingly reacted, I don't know. Except, I gave up, stepped back, said, 'that's it!' 

            Luckily, I did not say so to the person concerned, I just physically, and emotionally turned my back. In danger of undoing all the good my support has done over that time. Of leaving them to their despair, and their apparent inability in thinking straight. Deep in the midst of making a mess of their life. I know you cannot make people do things. I know you have to allow them to live their own lives. Only, it's like I said yesterday, sometimes we become lost. We lose ourselves, somewhere in the process of big changes in our lives. During the death of someone, or the ending of a relationship. So unsure can we be, of who we are without that person, we flounder, and make mistakes. We lose our way. It just illustrates how far lost you can become, without realising.

             Now, despite me finding it really difficult to continue in a supporting role. I must not give up on them. I must be a stable element in their lives. Try to understand, that although they don't want my advice, or help right now. They will do soon, or, might do soon. When they reach the point where they recognise how lost they are, which I can only wish for. I can only hope that point is reached before they go too far down the wrong path. My walking away, stepping out of their life will help no one. Not even me, as I don't want to see them/her/him break altogether. I too, will have to live with what happens in their life. If I know I have done less than my best, how can I then, live with myself.

            Despite this, I did give up. I decided to back out of the whole situation, and leave the persons/persons to get on with it. To fall where their own bad decisions, and the fates, let them fall. 'Washing my hands,' used to be the term used. My dear friend, reminded me of some of the difficulties they were, or could be experiencing. A clear case of the pupil, teaching the teacher, I am happy to say.  I am ashamed to say, I had forgotten. Perhaps, only for the time of that one short decision, but I had not connected the dots. My mind had flipped me back to the old way of doing things. Of using only rational thought, of conserving my energy, for my own health, (which is not good.) You see, even now, I make excuses. It's what we do, it's how we calm our conscience. We make excuses for our poor behaviour. The fact is, it's never good enough to turn our backs.

             Now, though, reminded, I will continue. In fact I will continue with a new burst of energy. I will make a special effort to let the person/persons know how I care for them, and have faith in them. The whole thing, will help them, far more than avoiding, and ignoring them ever will.

             I tell this story, to remind you to be vigilant. To watch out for those kind of mind flips. It's necessary then, to keep a close eye on yourself. For if you don't, then who will?

             Keep sending that love, keep believing in those who no longer believe in themselves. As you, one day, might need someone else to watch out for, and believe in you, to send you unconditional love. Remember, what goes around, comes around.

             The strength, and the perseverance is there for you, only....

              Never give up!

              FOOTNOTE TO THIS.

I did refocus, on this situation, on this person. It really does help, so be strong, and be there for your loved ones. Already, so short a time since, new, fantastic developments are underway. The person is on the up, and up. I am so happy. They bottomed out, (you never know quite when that is, until after) 

The really important thing is, they are so happy, & excited, because they have hope again. Because their life is looking good again.

It's easy to be there for people when things are going well, and you can share in their happiness, it's more difficult when they are lost, and their light is hidden. Yet that is the time they need you.

So never give up, never, ever give up. With love, even just sending it froma distance, with a Few words of encouragement, can help them turn the corner.

Yippee for love

             

Changing your mindset...Resolutions!

         Changing a habit is not the easiest thing to do. It's something we are all doing....no, that's not quite correct. Only some of us, are trying to do, especially now. With the tradition of New Years resolutions, urging us on. It's because the start of a New Year is often when we take a fresh look at ourselves, take stock of our lives. We say things like, 'last year I didn't do that, this year I will '.

          If we are honest with ourselves, we all have things in our lives, we want to change. We really should change. We are tired of not doing the best we can with our life, with our self. I think we all have an inbuilt desire to better ourselves. A desire to become the best person we can be. Sometimes, though, we become a bit lost, a little confused about who we are, what is best for us. Is this who we are? Then, when we look, properly look, sometimes, after a long time, see our life, or ourself. Often, we don't like what we see. I know there have been times, when I looked at myself, and thought....who is that woman? Because I have gradually slipped into another shape, which, is nothing about body shape. It's about attitude, or difference in personality, from what you are, inside. The inner you, your soul shape. You have lost a little bit of what makes you....you!

          It might be, sitting in the same poor job, or the same house, long after it ceased  being good for us. Or, settled for an unhappy relationship, one that belittles, or even harms us. Perhaps we have become unhealthy, too thin, overweight, generally unwell, or just unfit. Many of these situations can cause real distress, unhappiness, even fear. The hole we are in, can seem so deep, we are not able to see a way out. Because, settling for things unnatural to us, bends us out of shape. In exactly the same way as forcing the proverbial square peg, into a round hole does. It's not only uncomfortable, but ultimately, can break the peg...which is you.

           Oh, we often do it for the very best reasons, we love, try to please, or just try to fit it. Whatever the reasons, if you are not being true to yourself, sooner, or later! It breaks down, or you do!. The New Year resolution, then, is merely the tip of the iceberg. Yet it's still valid, it's still good to begin changing. Good to decide....I need to change this! This isn't good for me, or right for me. Trite as it seems, diets are the most often embarked upon, at this time of the year. Bought on, I believe by the knowledge of the over eating that has gone on, all over Christmas. At least, it is with most the people I know. Few of us continue the diet, or the resolution, long enough to make any real changes. Although some do, there are always some who make it happen. Some focused person, who succeeds, against all odds. The bigger problems in our lives, get noticed in exactly the same way though. As well as often, at the same time of the year. The New Year is a time for reflection. For new beginnings.

           For year after year, we see ourselves doing the same things, building these habits we made no conscious decision about. Allowing other people, or circumstances to mould us, and our life. I. The process, becoming the type of people we did not want to be. Nor, even like very much. Many things just happen...kinda sneak up on us. Until they can become some of the bigger problems I spoke of earlier. In the end, you can not know who the hell you are, or what you are doing there. Then, it comes down to attitude, down to personal satisfaction. If there are important things in your life, that don't feel right, you must change them. Or, they become destructive. 

            As with New Year, make a resolution, get a plan. Small steps, baby steps...any steps away from the 'status quo', you find yourself in. Anything to begin the changes you need to make.

            So, folks, do what a big percentage of us, are already doing, and take a good hard look at your life. How it impacts on the people around you. As well as how they are impacting on you. Is this the best you can do, how do you want to change things. Do you only want to discuss ideas, directions?  More importantly, where do you begin?

            It doesn't matter, as long as you do begin.  A list can be a good way to start. A list of pro's, and con's. Everything you like in yourself, and everything you dislike. Then see which, of those need change, or you are able to change. Do the small things first, and be gentle with yourself. It doesn't have to be major. Every step that takes you closer to the real you, the person you were born to be, will, in turn help everyone around you. It's like when you are on the plane, when the oxygen masks drop down, you must put yours one first, before you help anyone else. That is just the only way to make it work. Because only then, will you be strong, will you be content. Only then will you flower into someone your loved ones, can love, can love in return.

            Do remember though, and most importantly, you must love yourself. If you don't like yourself, how can others. If you don't feel worthwhile, then begin with that. Tell yourself, as many times a day as you remember....'I am worthwhile'. Get some self esteem going. Mentally, surround yourself with positive love, and light. Imagine it as something tangible, something you can see. 

            Soon, the resolutions you take, will seem easier, the moves, and decisions, stronger.  Life can be so good.

            I wonder, when next year comes, how many resolutions you will have succeeded with, and how many given up. That's the key really, one bad day, doesn't mean disaster, or failure. Keep going, and never give up.

            

Happy new year to YOU...keep loving

         Another year, 2014 is here. I wonder, did you look forward to it starting, or did you dread it? Or, perhaps it's only another day to you, neither good, nor bad. I must admit, I love a new year, it feels exciting to me. As I spoke about last week, it can be whatever you want it to be. It's all a matter of attitude. It doesn't matter, what you believe, thinking about your attitude to life, has to make sense doesn't it. Of course, maintaining  the right attitude isn't always that easy. Not when emotions are involved. The thing is, we are very emotional creatures, are we not?

         Everyone has difficult times come into their lives.There must be, it's what life is, change, balanced  by habit, and routine.There is joy, and there is sadness as part of the whole. There must be births, there must be deaths, as well as some kind of ups, and downs in between.The Ying, and the Yang, the black, and the white. We have problems come, and go all the time. We have to survive, and learn how to deal with them. It's complex, life is complex, so much learning to do. We come to this earth knowing little except how to suck, and cry. Everything else must be learnt, often at some cost, either to ourselves, or to those around us. Learning as best we can, all the hundred, and one other things that make up modern life. Then, there is love, the biggest learning curve of all. What is the saying, love makes the world go round. Perhaps it makes all the rest, bearable, or....... totally unbearable!

          As an older woman, I am, perhaps a little removed, not from love, but from passion. Or, certainly, from that first grand passion, or the second. Removed from its searing pain as experienced by the young. It's joys, and it's sorrows. That's how I feel, when I read posts on twitter, by some of the girls experiencing their first despair. Those dealing with a broken heart, or of unrequited love. It's obvious, from what they write, that they have experienced heartbreak, it's always moving. It makes me wish I could ease the path for them. I wish I could save them the pain, and the hard decisions that come after.

           I'm not saying it's only girls that feel this, but it is mostly girls, who write about it. Boys, from what I've seen, are the same as ever. As when I was young, and going through it. The outward reaction of the young male, is 'what the F...., are they on about'. They post that too. As if they have no idea what the heartbroken, or hurt girls are talking about. Some of it is as a protection, or face saving perhaps. The male must appear tough, and not susceptible to girls emotions, or perhaps they don't feel it the same. We are all human though, with the same depth of emotion. How can that be? Yet it is true that girls, and boys experience 'love', or passion, in different ways. Even different depths of feeling perhaps, or mature differently.

           I can say that, as a female, who has been hurt, more than once. Yes, say with some conviction, after many years of wending my way through the idiosyncrasies of relationships, or, of keeping right away from them, that there is no simple answer. Not even true love, and happily ever after. Not like they tell you in the romance stories. The story doesn't end when you fall in love, or marry, that's when it begins. The start of learning about, trust, loyalty, and commitment to each other.

            Because those are the things that get you through. Reading those tweets recently, and Christmas is the time when many problems in relationships rear their head. I wish there was something I could tell them, some way to save them the heartache of being hurt. Of having to try recover, or maybe never recovering. Becoming brave enough, to try again, with the same person, or a new one. To give your heart again, to offer it up, and risk another hurt. I wish I had some secret I could pass on. Then, I realised that I do have that. Not a solution that will stop love hurting when it goes wrong, or disasters happening. I do have the secret of helping yourself through every situation. 

              It's love...LOVE. Simply love!

              Some people call it positive programing, or positive thought. But that's not strictly true. Its just love...whatever is happening, whatever you feel is out if control in your life...think love...send love, FEEL LOVE. In other words, do not let anger, despair, or confusion take over. When under extreme duress, of any kind, calm your mind, as in the meditative way I spoke of in my earlier blog. 'Still' that busy little voice that fools you into thinking its trying the best way, to sove your problems. Because it's not, it's stirring up 'worry,' the 'what will I do,?' The 'it's all so dreadful' scenarios, and not helping at all.

                Instead whenever your mind begins to worry, and fret, with indecision, or hate, or despair, change it! Change the thought, change the emotion. Send love...send it to the person you think is going to give you a bad decision. Send it to the person you hate. Sent it to everyone involved in your problem, send it to yourself, wrap yourself in it. Even if it's hard, even if you don't want to. Even if it's the hardest thing you have ever done, and you do not want to do it. Because, often, it's easier to hate.

                I promise you, if you send love, love, love. Every time the problem hits your thoughts, your confidence, or your emotions, think love, feel love, and see it reaching the person, or the situation that's on your mind. Do not allow it to do anything else. I tell you now, it will help that situation come out well for you. It will help you cope, and come through. Resolved much better, than it would otherwise have done. Don't worry about how, or when, or why, just keep on sending that love.

                Whether you believe it, or not, LOVE is stronger than anything else, just as light is stronger than dark. Please, through your times of trouble, just surround yourself with love. It will give you strength, it will give you hope, it will calm your soul, and if will help supply you with the best possibly outcome. Hardly anything is set in concrete, everything can be moved by love. Love can move mountains...

                 It does not matter whether you call that love, god, the gods, psychic ability, or magic. Love is within us all, and there is an infinite supply surrounding us. You will never call on love, from the Universe, and is is missing. Never, it is yours...never ending.

                  Just say you believe......

                  In the meantime, send love to everyone who is in need. Those who are hurting, who are lost, who are starving, who are dying, and particularly to those who are living as well as they possibly can. Which is all any of us can do.

                  Live well, love others, and most importantly, love yourself. 

                  For that is where all love begins. It is not selfish, it is empowering!

                                                        HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL