If at first, you don't succeed...never give up

        A good friend of mine, reminded me today, not to give up. It wasn't in relation to myself, or my own aims, but regarding someone close to me. Now, of course I speak those words all the time, never give up! It's part of my ethos for living, part of creating your own reality, of having a positive attitude to life. The thing to remember is, that saying, and living your beliefs, keeping your mindset clear, are two different things.That is because, we have many more bad habits than we realise. The old ones, still creep up on us.  It's far too easy to slip into old habits. Our small mind, our busy voice, tricks us into opting for the simplest reaction. 'Job done' it thinks, problem over. Happy that a problem has gone away.

          We do many things on 'automatic pilot', where we just do it, without paying real attention. Without thinking about our actions. You know, making the bed, walking around the supermarket, making a phone call, frighteningly, even driving the car. We have habits, things we have done so often before, that paying close attention, is not necessary. Our reactions to the situations, or people, around us, works exactly the same. We become engrossed in the same things, time, after time. Or, annoyed by the same things, the behaviour of others, or whatever it is, happening in our life. So, it's all too easy to react without thinking, in the way we always did.

           This is the exactly what I did, when confronted this week, with something happening close to me. It was a situation, in which I have tried so hard, to do the right thing. Something, that your busy brain, even your intelligence tells you is a waste of time. Although knowing how sending a difficult situation, or person love, can be...will be, eventually.... positive. It has to be, that's the way energy works. I have encouraged, and explained, and supported, throughout the last couple of years. In recent months, though,  it has become more, and more difficult for me. I have things going on in my own life (as we all do). Although I meant to continue doing my best, understanding what was behind the present behaviour. I knew they needed support, that they were in no position to cope as I hoped. Then, it happened again, and I just reacted. Whether I was at the end of my tether, or whether I really just unthinkingly reacted, I don't know. Except, I gave up, stepped back, said, 'that's it!' 

            Luckily, I did not say so to the person concerned, I just physically, and emotionally turned my back. In danger of undoing all the good my support has done over that time. Of leaving them to their despair, and their apparent inability in thinking straight. Deep in the midst of making a mess of their life. I know you cannot make people do things. I know you have to allow them to live their own lives. Only, it's like I said yesterday, sometimes we become lost. We lose ourselves, somewhere in the process of big changes in our lives. During the death of someone, or the ending of a relationship. So unsure can we be, of who we are without that person, we flounder, and make mistakes. We lose our way. It just illustrates how far lost you can become, without realising.

             Now, despite me finding it really difficult to continue in a supporting role. I must not give up on them. I must be a stable element in their lives. Try to understand, that although they don't want my advice, or help right now. They will do soon, or, might do soon. When they reach the point where they recognise how lost they are, which I can only wish for. I can only hope that point is reached before they go too far down the wrong path. My walking away, stepping out of their life will help no one. Not even me, as I don't want to see them/her/him break altogether. I too, will have to live with what happens in their life. If I know I have done less than my best, how can I then, live with myself.

            Despite this, I did give up. I decided to back out of the whole situation, and leave the persons/persons to get on with it. To fall where their own bad decisions, and the fates, let them fall. 'Washing my hands,' used to be the term used. My dear friend, reminded me of some of the difficulties they were, or could be experiencing. A clear case of the pupil, teaching the teacher, I am happy to say.  I am ashamed to say, I had forgotten. Perhaps, only for the time of that one short decision, but I had not connected the dots. My mind had flipped me back to the old way of doing things. Of using only rational thought, of conserving my energy, for my own health, (which is not good.) You see, even now, I make excuses. It's what we do, it's how we calm our conscience. We make excuses for our poor behaviour. The fact is, it's never good enough to turn our backs.

             Now, though, reminded, I will continue. In fact I will continue with a new burst of energy. I will make a special effort to let the person/persons know how I care for them, and have faith in them. The whole thing, will help them, far more than avoiding, and ignoring them ever will.

             I tell this story, to remind you to be vigilant. To watch out for those kind of mind flips. It's necessary then, to keep a close eye on yourself. For if you don't, then who will?

             Keep sending that love, keep believing in those who no longer believe in themselves. As you, one day, might need someone else to watch out for, and believe in you, to send you unconditional love. Remember, what goes around, comes around.

             The strength, and the perseverance is there for you, only....

              Never give up!

              FOOTNOTE TO THIS.

I did refocus, on this situation, on this person. It really does help, so be strong, and be there for your loved ones. Already, so short a time since, new, fantastic developments are underway. The person is on the up, and up. I am so happy. They bottomed out, (you never know quite when that is, until after) 

The really important thing is, they are so happy, & excited, because they have hope again. Because their life is looking good again.

It's easy to be there for people when things are going well, and you can share in their happiness, it's more difficult when they are lost, and their light is hidden. Yet that is the time they need you.

So never give up, never, ever give up. With love, even just sending it froma distance, with a Few words of encouragement, can help them turn the corner.

Yippee for love

             

Changing your mindset...Resolutions!

         Changing a habit is not the easiest thing to do. It's something we are all doing....no, that's not quite correct. Only some of us, are trying to do, especially now. With the tradition of New Years resolutions, urging us on. It's because the start of a New Year is often when we take a fresh look at ourselves, take stock of our lives. We say things like, 'last year I didn't do that, this year I will '.

          If we are honest with ourselves, we all have things in our lives, we want to change. We really should change. We are tired of not doing the best we can with our life, with our self. I think we all have an inbuilt desire to better ourselves. A desire to become the best person we can be. Sometimes, though, we become a bit lost, a little confused about who we are, what is best for us. Is this who we are? Then, when we look, properly look, sometimes, after a long time, see our life, or ourself. Often, we don't like what we see. I know there have been times, when I looked at myself, and thought....who is that woman? Because I have gradually slipped into another shape, which, is nothing about body shape. It's about attitude, or difference in personality, from what you are, inside. The inner you, your soul shape. You have lost a little bit of what makes you....you!

          It might be, sitting in the same poor job, or the same house, long after it ceased  being good for us. Or, settled for an unhappy relationship, one that belittles, or even harms us. Perhaps we have become unhealthy, too thin, overweight, generally unwell, or just unfit. Many of these situations can cause real distress, unhappiness, even fear. The hole we are in, can seem so deep, we are not able to see a way out. Because, settling for things unnatural to us, bends us out of shape. In exactly the same way as forcing the proverbial square peg, into a round hole does. It's not only uncomfortable, but ultimately, can break the peg...which is you.

           Oh, we often do it for the very best reasons, we love, try to please, or just try to fit it. Whatever the reasons, if you are not being true to yourself, sooner, or later! It breaks down, or you do!. The New Year resolution, then, is merely the tip of the iceberg. Yet it's still valid, it's still good to begin changing. Good to decide....I need to change this! This isn't good for me, or right for me. Trite as it seems, diets are the most often embarked upon, at this time of the year. Bought on, I believe by the knowledge of the over eating that has gone on, all over Christmas. At least, it is with most the people I know. Few of us continue the diet, or the resolution, long enough to make any real changes. Although some do, there are always some who make it happen. Some focused person, who succeeds, against all odds. The bigger problems in our lives, get noticed in exactly the same way though. As well as often, at the same time of the year. The New Year is a time for reflection. For new beginnings.

           For year after year, we see ourselves doing the same things, building these habits we made no conscious decision about. Allowing other people, or circumstances to mould us, and our life. I. The process, becoming the type of people we did not want to be. Nor, even like very much. Many things just happen...kinda sneak up on us. Until they can become some of the bigger problems I spoke of earlier. In the end, you can not know who the hell you are, or what you are doing there. Then, it comes down to attitude, down to personal satisfaction. If there are important things in your life, that don't feel right, you must change them. Or, they become destructive. 

            As with New Year, make a resolution, get a plan. Small steps, baby steps...any steps away from the 'status quo', you find yourself in. Anything to begin the changes you need to make.

            So, folks, do what a big percentage of us, are already doing, and take a good hard look at your life. How it impacts on the people around you. As well as how they are impacting on you. Is this the best you can do, how do you want to change things. Do you only want to discuss ideas, directions?  More importantly, where do you begin?

            It doesn't matter, as long as you do begin.  A list can be a good way to start. A list of pro's, and con's. Everything you like in yourself, and everything you dislike. Then see which, of those need change, or you are able to change. Do the small things first, and be gentle with yourself. It doesn't have to be major. Every step that takes you closer to the real you, the person you were born to be, will, in turn help everyone around you. It's like when you are on the plane, when the oxygen masks drop down, you must put yours one first, before you help anyone else. That is just the only way to make it work. Because only then, will you be strong, will you be content. Only then will you flower into someone your loved ones, can love, can love in return.

            Do remember though, and most importantly, you must love yourself. If you don't like yourself, how can others. If you don't feel worthwhile, then begin with that. Tell yourself, as many times a day as you remember....'I am worthwhile'. Get some self esteem going. Mentally, surround yourself with positive love, and light. Imagine it as something tangible, something you can see. 

            Soon, the resolutions you take, will seem easier, the moves, and decisions, stronger.  Life can be so good.

            I wonder, when next year comes, how many resolutions you will have succeeded with, and how many given up. That's the key really, one bad day, doesn't mean disaster, or failure. Keep going, and never give up.

            

Happy new year to YOU...keep loving

         Another year, 2014 is here. I wonder, did you look forward to it starting, or did you dread it? Or, perhaps it's only another day to you, neither good, nor bad. I must admit, I love a new year, it feels exciting to me. As I spoke about last week, it can be whatever you want it to be. It's all a matter of attitude. It doesn't matter, what you believe, thinking about your attitude to life, has to make sense doesn't it. Of course, maintaining  the right attitude isn't always that easy. Not when emotions are involved. The thing is, we are very emotional creatures, are we not?

         Everyone has difficult times come into their lives.There must be, it's what life is, change, balanced  by habit, and routine.There is joy, and there is sadness as part of the whole. There must be births, there must be deaths, as well as some kind of ups, and downs in between.The Ying, and the Yang, the black, and the white. We have problems come, and go all the time. We have to survive, and learn how to deal with them. It's complex, life is complex, so much learning to do. We come to this earth knowing little except how to suck, and cry. Everything else must be learnt, often at some cost, either to ourselves, or to those around us. Learning as best we can, all the hundred, and one other things that make up modern life. Then, there is love, the biggest learning curve of all. What is the saying, love makes the world go round. Perhaps it makes all the rest, bearable, or....... totally unbearable!

          As an older woman, I am, perhaps a little removed, not from love, but from passion. Or, certainly, from that first grand passion, or the second. Removed from its searing pain as experienced by the young. It's joys, and it's sorrows. That's how I feel, when I read posts on twitter, by some of the girls experiencing their first despair. Those dealing with a broken heart, or of unrequited love. It's obvious, from what they write, that they have experienced heartbreak, it's always moving. It makes me wish I could ease the path for them. I wish I could save them the pain, and the hard decisions that come after.

           I'm not saying it's only girls that feel this, but it is mostly girls, who write about it. Boys, from what I've seen, are the same as ever. As when I was young, and going through it. The outward reaction of the young male, is 'what the F...., are they on about'. They post that too. As if they have no idea what the heartbroken, or hurt girls are talking about. Some of it is as a protection, or face saving perhaps. The male must appear tough, and not susceptible to girls emotions, or perhaps they don't feel it the same. We are all human though, with the same depth of emotion. How can that be? Yet it is true that girls, and boys experience 'love', or passion, in different ways. Even different depths of feeling perhaps, or mature differently.

           I can say that, as a female, who has been hurt, more than once. Yes, say with some conviction, after many years of wending my way through the idiosyncrasies of relationships, or, of keeping right away from them, that there is no simple answer. Not even true love, and happily ever after. Not like they tell you in the romance stories. The story doesn't end when you fall in love, or marry, that's when it begins. The start of learning about, trust, loyalty, and commitment to each other.

            Because those are the things that get you through. Reading those tweets recently, and Christmas is the time when many problems in relationships rear their head. I wish there was something I could tell them, some way to save them the heartache of being hurt. Of having to try recover, or maybe never recovering. Becoming brave enough, to try again, with the same person, or a new one. To give your heart again, to offer it up, and risk another hurt. I wish I had some secret I could pass on. Then, I realised that I do have that. Not a solution that will stop love hurting when it goes wrong, or disasters happening. I do have the secret of helping yourself through every situation. 

              It's love...LOVE. Simply love!

              Some people call it positive programing, or positive thought. But that's not strictly true. Its just love...whatever is happening, whatever you feel is out if control in your life...think love...send love, FEEL LOVE. In other words, do not let anger, despair, or confusion take over. When under extreme duress, of any kind, calm your mind, as in the meditative way I spoke of in my earlier blog. 'Still' that busy little voice that fools you into thinking its trying the best way, to sove your problems. Because it's not, it's stirring up 'worry,' the 'what will I do,?' The 'it's all so dreadful' scenarios, and not helping at all.

                Instead whenever your mind begins to worry, and fret, with indecision, or hate, or despair, change it! Change the thought, change the emotion. Send love...send it to the person you think is going to give you a bad decision. Send it to the person you hate. Sent it to everyone involved in your problem, send it to yourself, wrap yourself in it. Even if it's hard, even if you don't want to. Even if it's the hardest thing you have ever done, and you do not want to do it. Because, often, it's easier to hate.

                I promise you, if you send love, love, love. Every time the problem hits your thoughts, your confidence, or your emotions, think love, feel love, and see it reaching the person, or the situation that's on your mind. Do not allow it to do anything else. I tell you now, it will help that situation come out well for you. It will help you cope, and come through. Resolved much better, than it would otherwise have done. Don't worry about how, or when, or why, just keep on sending that love.

                Whether you believe it, or not, LOVE is stronger than anything else, just as light is stronger than dark. Please, through your times of trouble, just surround yourself with love. It will give you strength, it will give you hope, it will calm your soul, and if will help supply you with the best possibly outcome. Hardly anything is set in concrete, everything can be moved by love. Love can move mountains...

                 It does not matter whether you call that love, god, the gods, psychic ability, or magic. Love is within us all, and there is an infinite supply surrounding us. You will never call on love, from the Universe, and is is missing. Never, it is yours...never ending.

                  Just say you believe......

                  In the meantime, send love to everyone who is in need. Those who are hurting, who are lost, who are starving, who are dying, and particularly to those who are living as well as they possibly can. Which is all any of us can do.

                  Live well, love others, and most importantly, love yourself. 

                  For that is where all love begins. It is not selfish, it is empowering!

                                                        HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL

         

Special facilities...I don't think so.

         Disabilities, we hear a lot about the disabled, and their needs in this modern world. Now, there are all sorts of facilities for the disabled, aren't there. Mmmmm, well there are supposed to be. Except, if you do have any kind of mobility issues, then there are never enough. Despite what it looks like to those not affected. As with many topical issues, when something gets rammed down your throat too often, many of us become inured to it. Too often I know, if you look around you, as a ordinary person, it seems you are always tripping over 'disabled 'this, or that. Parking spaces, special ramps, changing rooms, wheelchair facilities, in fact the whole equal opportunity thing. In a busy world, it can perhaps, seem like overkill. Of course, the less advantaged need all the daily help they can get. It's already difficult enough for them to have a normal life.

       Opportunities, right down to job opportunities. It was actually publicised in the papers today that more disabled people that ever before have found work. Well, not too sure who they are talking about there. Perhaps the people (they say) have been sitting on the disability benifit from the government, without true cause! Supposedly, now being told they can no longer continue being paid, and must therefor find employment. Because of recent government cutbacks in benefits, and new rules applied. I may be wrong, but I doubt they are talking of the bone fide wheelchair bound, or blind, or otherwise. I don't expect we shall know the full truth there.

         More important, I believe, is the lack of proper facilities, and the misuse of the same. For example: There is a new swimming pool, and spa in the area I live. With a pool (too small) and common changing rooms, unisex. All very open to serious misuse, in my view. Or, perhaps I am really out of touch with modern needs, and habits. Despite my thoughts on this, for the whole town facilities, there are several open showers, in view of the pool. Apart from those, two more, private showers are near the individual changing cubicles, and lockers. Only these two, are large enough for wheelchairs, only one has a fold down chair as needed. These are the only two suitable for the disabled to have room, or privacy. Or, offers any kind of stability during showering, and/or dressing. As neither cubicle has the disabled logo on the door, it's difficult for the disabled to get in to use either. 

       I have seen several incidents where either children, or perfectly fit young women, have taken up residence inside. Without fear, or worry what anyone else thinks. One such woman actually became very vocal with a disabled lady, who waited to go inside today. On being told it was for the disabled because of the chair, she aggressively told the woman 'are you the one been banging on this door to get in?' When she replied 'no', she said, 'well someone was. So I just thought sod it!, and stayed in here'. As the woman had only her towel, and others said she was in there some ten, fifteen minutes, I can only assume she sat on the chair, and relaxed there. Whilst others constantly needed to get in, and tried the door! What a slap in the face for those less able.

         Don't you think that's an amazing attitude? Why are such people so selfish, and uncaring. Do they not care at all about how the more disadvantaged manages. They can't, can they. She was, at the most thirty five, slim, and fit. As well as, I may say, being very vocal, and aggressive. She did everything except snap her teeth at people, just like the angry dog she imitated. As I said, more than once this week, what goes around, comes around. In other words, what she gives out, will come back to her. I don't ' ill wish' anyone, but I find, I do hope she finds out what it feels like to need help, and meet uncaring people, like herself, who just don't care! Karma, as they used to say.

          Of course, it's not an isolated incident, the very same day, and many times before, I have seen the young, and fit using the only ground floor toilet, for the disabled, whiles old, and disabled waited. They take the parking spaces too, but less often because those cars get fined. There is no one around to police the toilets, or changing rooms or the like. Is that what we need to do? Issue everyone with special needs a card to say so. Like the disability card for the car. To make life even more difficult for those people, than it already is. 

          Therefor, we have too few facilities available, but more importantly, the ordinary members of the public are ignoring who they are meant for. Too many fit, and healthy individuals use anything they choose, and think nothing of it.

            So, the next time you are out, if you notice anyone using something they have no right to use, please bring it to their, or someone else's attention. As the disabled person waiting, may be unable to stand up to them. May be at a loss to know how to cope with it. I know, I have seen it. If you see someone struggling, unable to manage, please help. Perhaps we need everyone to take a course on the proper behaviour. To be caring, and respectful of others, less lucky than they.

            Or, if, far worse, you are one of the people using what you like, ignoring any other considerations, then please stop! Be sensitive, be caring, and be careful because......

            KARMA......WILL GET YOU !

            

Social networking frustrations...oh joy

          Is it me, or is it something I did, or said. None of my social networking sites are doing what they are supposed to do. Locations are missing, sites in general acting crazy, not connecting. Or connecting incorrectly, and behaving in ways not seen by me, before. Have I been negative...? Or is something else going on.... Has the Internet become overloaded, is my connection breaking down, or something worse.....ahhh, actually I have done something out of character! Allowing myself to become disrupted.

        Perhaps that explains why everything has gone to hell in a hand basket. As it most certainly has, for the past few hours trying to get anywhere on line, was crazy tunes. It has taken every ounce of control I have to continue trying to work through these problems for the whole afternoon. How frustrating is waiting, trying, and failing for simple sites to operate as they should. The wit who said www. means..waiting, waiting, waiting... Is on the ball I think. Trying to make the sites revert to their correct behaviour patterns was futile.it started me thinking, trying to see the reason.

         It began last night, with an unexpected message popping into my email, informing me of a Facebook message. As I read, becoming really annoyed with that someone, a person I don't even know, and have no memory of meeting. Someone, a woman/girl/halfwit, Facebook friend, of another Facebook contact... only that remote. 

          You see, I am still annoyed by her inane, and unwarranted comments. All because of some face, she connected, out of the blue. Incidents? (she said) that were upsetting to her, nearly thirty years ago. How stupid is that, but as it concerned I, and my family, it caught my attention.  Perhaps she should have thought about her comments, before maligning me,  untruthfully, and publicly, directly, or indirectly. That direction, lies slander!

           I, should have stepped right back, and not reacted today. I should have remained aloof. I did however react to her, with firm remarks, objecting to her summation. 

          Yes, I know I should not today, have reacted at all, perhaps.... Except, I have never been good at 'turning the other cheek', I think one undeserved slap, is more than enough! Even though I know some people have no common sense, thinking its permissible to say what they want to the world. On Facebook, they are not having a private conversation, they are publishing it for all to see. The private facility, between two people was not utilised here, for this version of her truth.

           Unsurprisingly, I did not let it pass, I am only human, and she hit a sore spot I suppose. Back then, I was proud of what I did. Managing in a difficult, and demanding situation, taking great care to be reputable, for myself, and my career. I will not go into details, except her remarks, her opinion, published on Facebook, was slanted in such a way, as to make us appear in a bad light, as something I was NOT, as we were not!

            Now, I know that kind of thing, cannot be right, and I took great exception to it. I take great exception to it.  I informed her, not to further malign me, and to desist in dragging up such warped memories, with no substantiation.

              It just goes to show though, how upsetting yourself, and becoming embroiled in anything of this nature, is futile, and does you no good. It shatters your positive outlook, and takes you down to the level of such people. People, who seem to live only for such bits of drama, played out in public. Pure fantasy, scraped from anywhere, in order to somehow, make themselves more important. 

             It's something I don't need in my life, nasty disruptions of this kind. It does me, nor anyone, any favours. Building up my own positive situations, and making the most of my opportunities needs a single minded approach, avoiding such negative situations, of spite, or anger.

             Now, I need to still that little busy voice inside, the one I spoke of yesterday. I need to rebuild my positive picture, of what my life is. I will let go of anger, and step away, permanently. The comments, so unfair, and undeserved, took me by surprise. Now why should that be, why do I care about her, or about who might read it. I should not worry about it at all, I should not allow it to upset my equilibrium. Too late, it did upset me, as did the lack of any sort of reasonable reply to my objections.

           Facebook for personal, and family will be closed..deactivated. Because the joy I get from the nice contacts, the family news, do not make up for the troublemakers, and the insensitive. Those, who are allowed into my pages through loose associations with family or friends. Women, like this one, who I did not choose to be there. Those incidents, too regular on Facebook, are not wanted in my life.

               ..........................................................................................................................

            MY POSITIVE AFFIRMATION:

             My life is pleasant, my life is tranquil. All the people I have in my life are loving, and caring, of me, and my family. The social networking sites I belong to, are all positive, and uplifting. My friends, and family are supportive of me, and my well being. I have a full, and pleasant life, enjoying my family, friends, work, travel, pastimes, and relaxation.

             My life is perfect, and fulfilling in every way......

                ...........................................................................................................................

             So, my friends, if something, or someone in your life ruins your equilibrium, and your peace of mind. Or, if someone is unkind, and thoughtless, cut them from your thoughts, and your life. Do not worry, or fret about them, step back, and soon, you will see... What comes around, goes around. Except, it will no longer be involving you in its unpleasantness. For you have not chosen to be connected.

              Have a quiet mind, enjoy your life...

              you will then attract more love to yourself. If you are without the love you want, look carefully at yourself, and what you are giving out to others.

              Be happy....

         

           

The new year is nearly here! Yippee.

          Another year coming up... It's exciting isn't it. Perhaps I am easily pleased, or even a little unbalanced, but I love the thought of a new year. To me, the possibilities seem endless. Anything is possible, the world is my oyster, and all of that. Its like having a great big blank page, on which you, or I, can write anything we are able to imagine, anything at all

           Now, if you can only subscribe to the theory of creating your own reality, then it CAN all be yours. Creating your own reality says.... imagine it, feel it, believe it, and you WILL acheive it. In fact, it's already yours, why on earth not? Why should someone else have the riches, the good health, the family harmony, the travel. In fact, why should it not all be yours?

            Right now, this night, make a list of your ideal day, your ideal world, and of course your ideal NOW! Write down carefully, the perfect situation for you. Your idea of utopia if you will. Notice I did not say, your ideal future. That's because the future is ever fluid, ever changing. So much so, that it may never come, it may be so far in some mythical future, that it never, ever, comes. You just blankety, blank, never reach it. NEVER! What then, is the point of planning for that. You may as well write a story, some poetry, a letter, because it will be just passing time. Just amusing yourself.

            What you do plan for, is the now, the present...immediately. Don't even worry your head about how it can happen, or how immediate it can be. Because we all know me that things take time, that nothing happens immediately, right? WRONG. That's the bit we call reality, how things are, what we have learned of life. Except, we got it wrong, we have taken our own disbelief in our strength, and now say it's 'how it is'. Those are the things we have told ourselves, this is the way, over the course of millennia, we have twisted the truth. The natural truth of what we see, and experience around us.         

             REALITY, is what we call our inability to believe in the largesse of the universe. There is enough money out there in the world, for us all to have plenty. There are unlimited ways we can travel, or heal, or make a family. The world is full of everything we could ever need. All we have to do, is believe. Believe we can have it, or better still, admit we have got it already. If you like, you must suspend reality....take it out if the equasion. Begin building your world, without any thought or constraints you had before. Take that great, big, new, white page, and write on it, as if you can, as if you get to choose. The very good reason for that, is because you do!

              When you begin your list, use no negatives, only positives. Use no future times, only now. Admit no constraints at all, plan as if there are no limits around you, and your world. Remember the first step in this process, is to suspend reality. Dream big, but fool your reasoning mind into thinking it is not only possible, but probable. 

              Have you even meditated? If you have, you know you must first quiet your mind. Switch off your reasoning mind,  the constant chatter of that side of your brain that keeps trying to work out what to do next. What to get for tea, what to say at the meeting, what you can afford to do next, and all of that minutia that keeps taking you away from your quiet place... Your alpha space. It takes practice, because the little chatterbox who is used to running things in there, likes being in charge. Time, and time again, you would have had to quiet it again, and drag yourself back to 'alpha'. Well. It's a similar thing with programming, for 'your world' to appear.

              First, you must quiet that little 'know it all' inside, who likes to say, 'I can't have that', or 'how could that possibly happen?', or, 'that's impossible', or, 'I'm not that lucky'.

             Second, you must believe anything is possible. Even if you don't really, or find it difficult, keep saying, and repeating that you do. As well as what it is you believe. You are retraining your mind, your psyche....and your reality.

             Third, do not allow your, 'little chatter mind' to put limitations on what you want (you have) in your perfect world. It's better to aim high, say 105% and get part way there, 70%, than to aim low, at say 50%, and get part way there, 20%. Which is better? It's a no brainier isn't it. Always aim for the sky...

             Fourth, watch what you think, and what you say. Take care of what you put out into the Universe, what messages you are sending everyday. Are you saying, ' I never have enough money', or 'somehow, I always have enough!' Are you saying, 'I shall never be thin,', or, I am the perfect weight'. Ensure you reinforce all the things, and situations on your 'ideal world' list.

             Fifth, make that list NOW. Where do you live? Not where do you think it is possible for you to be able to live. If you had your 'truthers', where would it be? Beckingham Palace, Buckingham. Palace, or Chrystal Palace. (Or worse). Do the same for the car, you drive. The health you have, your appearance, your loved ones, your mate! Think about it, write I carefully, saying 'I have', not, I want, or I will have.

              Six, back up you list, with a wish book. Collect pictures of the ideal life. Collect, cut from magazines, or the Internet, the views of your new present life. Remember you have it now. Spend time on it, do it carefully. Do not stint, do not worry about what is possible, or being greedy, or how it could happen. Then read it every day, soak it into your brain, re educate your image of what, and where you are. This is your ideal world. Try to think of every aspect, hobbies, friends, family, partner, money, health, fame, travel, helping others, healing the world... if you want...you are the creator of your universe.

               Remember, anything is possible

             

             

              

The sales..

        People got up, and queued in the wet, and cold for the post Christmas sales today. I hasten to say, I was not amongst them. Oh, in the past I have gone to odd sale or two. Particularly when I lived in the West end of London, and I was much younger. With accompanying energy, or madness, I suppose. However, even then, I quickly came to the conclusion it was crazy. The people, kicking, pushing, and becoming feral, and even worse. The media talked of it then too, of the comaraderie, the good humour they saw, of people staying out in bad conditions. I saw nothing of that spirit, It got quite physical back then. Of course, it may not be the same today. Then, the women, for they were all women, were snatching at bits of this, and that, whatever they could see, from big tables. There were a few older men, standing on the sideIines, I remember. No doubt thinking very much as I did, but what do I really know. They may have been guards.

        At that time, and in that area, the worst were Arab looking, middle aged women. They used one hand to hold on their head covering, whilst snatching at stuff with the other. They were agile with their elbows too though.  I remember thinking to myself at the time, I bet these women are not short of a bob or two. For at that time, we had a big holiday population from the United emirates. They had the money from oil, and they came to London for a big spend up. Staying a few months, for the shops, and some culture, every year.

          In more recent times, I have seen the same type of large family groups in Australia, on the Gold Coast. If there are still groups going to London, I wouldn't know. In London, back then,  I don't know whether they sent their servants to get household stuff, or it was the lesser members of the family there. I don't know, but they were determined to get the bargains. I say that because I am unable to believe the rich ladies, the wives, would do such an activity. Would do anything other than hold themselves aloof. Also, why would they need to?

         I still remember it vividly, it was an unpleasant experience. I don't remember leaving the scrum, but I do remember standing on the sidelines, clutching a couple of bits of crockery, and watching the madness. Thinking to myself, was I really in the middle of all of that? With those crazies, in the rugby scrum. I paused there, watching for a while. I probably left the shop, and got into the street shortly after. With my bargains, or without, I can't remember. It was a sale in the basement of a large store, Harrods, or Barkers or some such. Mostly household, china, and the like. I can't imagine what I wanted, or why, but I bought nothing much that day. I tended to try a few big sales for a couple of years, I always admired fine china, good sheets. Later, I went to the sales in the clothes shops. Although I never, ever got up early, waiting in line for the shops to open at six. I looked at the photos in the papers, or on tv, of the coats for a pound, or tv's for next to nothing. I though, preferred to go through the shops later, and take my time. it was still crazy busy, and the big bargains were gone, but that was fine by me. There were always plenty of bargains left.

          I don't know if everyone likes a bargain, or if it's just some of us. If there is a breed of bargain hunters out there. There could be, because it has little to do with how flush with money I am. I know I, like nothing better than to find a bargain. It feels a  real victory to me. To do this, I have found it necessary to be an impulse buyer. It is futile to go out on a particular day, and say 'I'm looking for a coat', or 'a new pair of shoes'. For me, it just doesn't happen. I become more, and more depressed, as I become tired. Everything is too big, too small, too bright, or poor material, whatever. Many times, I have gone to find something, or been persuaded to, only to have to give up. It NEVER works, never.

          Today, again, there they were, in their queues, ready for the fray. I couldn't help but wonder, are they also impulse buyers? Are they looking all the time, everywhere, as I do. Do they halt, suddenly, at a shop window, when they see a sale sign, and an attractive shape. Or, do they save it all for the big, real sales with the early starts, like today. No interviewer ever asks that question do they.

            There were still some good bargains when I went out later. I could have bought lots of beautiful stuff. However, even if buying in a sale, the money spent, soon adds up. You have to have disposable income to be able to go shopping, even if only to the sales. Whilst I, in common with many people right now, with the enconomy biting harder than ever, have none. So, I looked a little, in passing, felt a couple of fabrics, but bought nothing. Rather disappointing , I thought.

            There are those, who take out Christmas loans to tide themselves over this expensive period! There are others, who ask for cash as presents, a wise idea. So that they are able to shop in the sales now. Personally,  I know, if I were those borrowers, I would far rather go without all year, than get myself  in debt. There are finding bargains, then there is digging yourself into a hole for the year, or longer.

           So, to all those youngsters out there, who want the latest 'stuff', I say....think!  Decide what sort of shopper you want to be. Save every penny you can, so that when you see a must have bargain, you too can impulse buy. Or, at least not end up in debt.

           In addition, you will not have to risk hypothermia queuing outside, in the elements, for the sales either!

          Happy hunting......